The Life & Times of Rachael Ann

Quick Updates !

2010-05-10T06:07:00.004-04:00

Well, so much has happened since I really posted anything about life. In the space of almost a year, Jay and I have broken up, (almost to the point of divorce), gotten back together and now we have bought our first home.

Break-Up,Make-Up:

Well, we have decided to work things out and work on our problems. Trust me, those can definitely accumulate when you have been together for so long ! So far, its going, you know, taking it one day at a time. We do not know how to deal when it comes to things like stress, so it is not always smooth sailing. I think what is important to us, is at the end of the day we do realize that what we have is worth working at and worth keeping. It will never be perfect, but hey, neither are we, by a longshot !

New House:

We basically bought a house from a friend, and it basically turned ugly, really fast. He thought that we would be new first home owner suckers, and of course we were too trusting in thinking that since he was a friend, he would be honest. Nope. All the work that was supposed to be done on his end was not and what was done was done incorrectly and really badly. It has put back our renovation plans very far behind. I wanted to legally see what could be done, since these things were in our agreement, but Jay does not want any drama,so we have been scrapping alot about that. Especially when we don't have money coming out of our ass to keep fixing/replacing things that should have been done. The first floor living room and dining room flooring alone cost us $1550, but we had to replace it because our "friend' it seemed never cleaned it (in the 20 years he owned the house) until an hour before we moved in and he must have let the dog pee everywhere because the house stunk of dog and piss. Then we saw how basically everything was done incorrectly, from the plumbing, to the electrical, to the painting, patching, cleaning everything. I was so not impressed because I have left apartments in better condition than this guy left this house. Then he threatened to sue us in the end for harrassment ! So, yes, it has been something all right. ..grr I need a subject change.. fast

Selena:

I think my brother has completely forgotten about his daughter, she is permanentely at my mom's house now and at my house from like 6 to 5, Monday to Friday. My mom wants to roast Children's Aid on a spit (long story). My brother had a huge fight with me the other day telling me that I had no right to have any opinion on anything to do with his child and that I should mind my own business etc.. the usual loveliness.. Of course that set me off like a fricking atom bomb and it almost turned into a fist fight. I think the icing on the cake was when he told me that I was a bad mother for yelling at him infront of my son. After all that idiot has said and done to me, it is me that is raising his child on a daily basis. She wakes up, I give her breakfast and lunch, I bathe her, dress her, do her hair, play with her, read to her. Man, sometimes I swear I have more patience with her than I do with Kaius, and that makes me feel horrible because I feel like I am always shafting Kaius because by the time I am done with Selena, I am really too exhausted to do things with him, because she is quite a handful. I think what makes things worse is how I watch her observing our family and the way it functions, and how much she so longs to be a part of it. She even turns to Jay and I many times and says "I want to stay here, I want to live with you and be Kaius' sister" That just breaks my heart.. and makes me want to break Danny's legs. It pisses me off too because its like everyone makes excuses for him.. "oh he's so f'd up because blah blah blah". I mean when is that going to end and when will it be about his child ? So yes, damn straight I freak out when he tells me to mind my own business and that it isn't any of mine, he made it my business when they dumped the child off like garbage. Poor kid really drew the short straw when it came to parents..

Last but not least, Kaius !!

He is getting big and he is so smart. He's not really much of a talker, but he knows how to do it. he is starting to learn how to use the potty and he is loving it so much. If I put body wash on each part he knows how to wash them and brush his teeth. He walks, runs, jumps on the bed. His favourite show right now is The Night Garden. He is on Toddler formula mixed with homo milk and his favourite food has got to be the Mac and Cheese at Ikea.. well cheese in general. He loves Babybel's which costs me an arm and a leg on groceries, but its healthy and he loves it,so I am not complaining. He still does that thing with the pillow where he goes and gets one from his room or a cushion and he will bring it back to whatever room I am in, put it down on the floor and go to sleep. So many days I am doing dishes and I turn around and there he is, sound asleep on the mat. He and Jay were a bit weird for a while, because of the break-up we had, he was very awkward around Jay. Now he is getting much more comfortable and opening up.

Well hopefully I get a chance to write up a more coherent blog post !

Happy 1st Birthday To My Little Prince K.A.I.U.S. !!!

2009-11-28T19:07:00.002-05:00

I think that I am still in shock that he has had an entire year of life...and I have only lost 30 pounds... lol well nix the last part.

Kaius, you are the love of my life, and I will always be honoured and love being your mommy <3

The Government is full of shit if they want you to believe they really care about the environment.

2009-07-30T07:41:00.006-04:00

Just think about it. If they really cared about pollution and everything, they would do so many things like :

1.Make busses free !!

2.Force fast food companies to comply with recycling rules and use Biodegradable wrappers etc. Not only that, but they would make it mandatory for every order that is "for here" to be served on dishes and not in wrappers and boxes.

3. Make cloth diapers cheaper and more available. Or at least carry things like Gdiapers along with the pampers and stuff. It is such a hassle for the average bean unless you have heaps of money to spend at the one off. I would love to use cloth diapers for Kaius, but the initial cost is so much, especially with the other costs of having a child and being on maternity leave.

4.Have better parks and plant more trees !!!

It seems everywhere we go nowadays,we are bombarded with being "green" and environmentally friendly.LOL, I think my neighbours used to probably think I was on crack for cleaning my windows with newpaper.I don't think anything will really change if things stay the way they are. Those that are environmentally conscious are usually labelled hippies or people who "have no life". But it is human nature I guess.Humans can be such selfish bastards.

I'm sorry for the lack of updates

2009-07-07T23:49:00.006-04:00

♥ Kaius at nearly 7 months ♥

*Gomen Nasai *

I know so many of you have been bugging me for updates of Kaius and more pictures etc (yes cuz,I will get some pics of his teeth). I have many new blog entries,but I have been mostly saving them instead of posting them..ooops.. I have many of his new pictures up on my facebook. I am trying to figure out a good picture hosting site (because my facebook account is set on private and I don't really want to change that setting). And since there are so many pictures that I have I would like to put them on a slideshow or something. When I figure it out I will post it. Plus, I am still trying to unpack everything in the new place..Uggh..
Hope everyone is well. ~

French toast for dinner ? What the heck was I thinking :(

2009-06-16T21:54:00.005-04:00

My tummy is so upset :( I have been getting the weirdest cravings lately for pancakes. Since we are moving we have been cutting back on unnecessary groceries because we don't want to have too much crap to carry over. So I haven't bought things like flour and pankcake mix etc. I decided to just make some french toast to put the craving on simmer. Uggh, such a bad idea. I got about halfway into finding the ingredients when I realized it was such a bad idea.

Ok, first of all, I go through so much trouble making them (well they are pretty easy but I had to dig out most things from boxes.. and of course the box with the cinnamon was at the bottom of the pile).Then I had to get the utencils to make it, only realizing that I had turned on the dishwasher moments earlier when I was deciding what to eat.

So to basically sum up the experience... After all that hard work..I gave into my craving and while on my second piece of french toast..my stomach began to turn.. So now, I sit here...feeling like at any point, the french toast will come out to say HI...

True Blood premiere tonight :) Totally excited !!!

2009-06-14T04:23:00.002-04:00

My show begins tonight !!! I am so excited ! Last season left me hanging ! One of my favourite characters is Lafayette and I really hope that he isn't dead ! If you haven't heard of True Blood people, I suggest you watch it. It is soo much better than Twilight,especially if you are an adult and not some 17 year old chasing after Edward Cullen. Ughh, my whole day is now going to be waiting in anticipation !!

Books I'm Currently Reading...

2009-05-21T03:11:00.007-04:00

Evernight by Claudia Gray

Description: "Bianca wants to escape.

She's been uprooted from her small hometown and enrolled at Evernight Academy, an eerie Gothic boarding school where the students are somehow too perfect: smart, sleek, and almost predatory. Bianca knows she doesn't fit in.

Then she meets Lucas. He's not the "Evernight type" either, and he likes it that way. Lucas ignores the rules, stands up to the snobs, and warns Bianca to be careful-even when it comes to caring about him.

"I couldn't stand it if they took it out on you," he tells Bianca, "and eventually they would."
But the connection between Bianca and Lucas can't be denied. Bianca will risk anything to be with Lucas, but dark secrets are fated to tear them apart . . . and to make Bianca question everything she's ever believed."

I've only just started reading this book, but I can already see some similarities between it and Twilight. The first one was the whole Science class thing (the only class they share together etc. with Twilight I think it was Biology,and with Evernight,I think it is Chemistry). I do like the characters. Lucas Ross is kind of similar to Edward Cullen,but not really. And even though it is early on, my guess is that Bianca will turn out being a vampire also.. Why you may ask.. It's pretty obvious. Especially in the early conversations she has with her parents and the way that she describes and talks about them in the narration. If she isn't a vampire,she will probably be turned into one at the Autumn Ball..

Impossible by Nancy Werlin

Description: "Lucy has nine months to break an ancient curse in order to save both herself and her unborn daughter.

Inspired by the ballad "Scarborough Fair," this riveting novel combines suspense, fantasy, and romance for an intensely page-turning and masterfully original tale.

Lucy is seventeen when she discovers that the women of her family have been cursed through the generations, forced to attempt three seemingly impossible tasks or to fall into madness upon their child's birth. But Lucy is the first girl who won't be alone as she tackles the list. She has her fiercely protective foster parents and her childhood friend Zach beside her. Do they have love and strength enough to overcome an age-old evil? "

I have been dying to read a "fairy story" and Impossible seems to be the popular answer. It is predictable,but still good.I'm pretty sure I know who the bad guy is and what is going on already..Still though..it is a good read, but no "fairy story" I have ever read yet has beaten my favourite "The Hunter's Moon" by O.R. Melling ~

Air Canada Commercial song found !!

2009-04-22T11:51:00.002-04:00

Air Canada has done me proud with these commercials.They are commercials that you actually want to watch.I have not been so enamoured with a commercial since the musical Gap commercials from the past.Many people have been asking me to find out about the song. It is called "El Vuelo" and t is by Hughes de Courson.

Did anyone else HATE the ER finale ??

2009-04-08T04:14:00.003-04:00

Ok, so now I have seen it four times now and I am still ... What the hell was that ??? There was no closure whatsoever ! Yes, I understand that the whole point of the show was to be a show that shows the lives of these people as they are and reality blah blah blah... It makes me feel like all that time I invested in watching the show was a waste...

Happy Birthday Neisha !!!

2009-04-02T06:01:00.002-04:00

~ LOVE U ~

Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack

2009-03-26T18:04:00.005-04:00

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this soundtrack. A.R. Rahman is ususally good, and I am glad he won :) Enjoy :)

Buy the CD HERE.

And to my brother Christopher,now you can actually learn all of the lines to "Jai Ho" instead of just randomly blurting out a "Jai Ho !" here and there lol...

Kaius' favourite shows...

2009-03-23T16:36:00.005-04:00

YO GABBA GABBA

This show is possibly the best and coolest kids show on ! I even like it ! The music is very catchy (but not in an annoying way) and I even find myself humming along or tapping my foot. They have some really great guests too. Today, they had Ladytron as a musical guest ! And Kaius seems to enjoy it just as much.I was in the kitchen one day last week,and I took him in there to keep an eye on him while I did dishes.I had left the tv on and you could clearly hear it in the kitchen. As soon as Yo Gabba Gabba came on he started going bananas and then he started to fuss.I picked him up,chair and all and put him infront of the tv and he did this little smile and mommy didn't exist anymore.It was all just Yo Gabba Gabba.I think what attracts him are all the bright colours and music.

TOUPIE & BINOU

I don't know what it is with this show,but he likes it. I think its cute.Jay thinks its disturbing lol. Especially after a couple episodes of gender bending.Lol, I think he decided against it when they dressed up as a princess and a fairy and were saying how "beautiful" they looked.LOL. I like it and Kaius likes it when I sing the theme song to him.

Anyone else sad that Battlestar Galactica is over ???

2009-03-22T23:48:00.005-04:00

I can't believe its over ! In the words of a petualant 2 year old,"I want more !!!!!!". I didn't actually hate the finale.I might come to like it.I wish that there was more ! I think its just bittersweet for me. Now I need to find something else to occupy my Friday nights... Ugghhh... does that mean that I actually have to go out and get a fracking life now ??? *tear* I'm gonna miss that word....

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK !!!!!!

Bummer. I miss it already... Did anyone tear up ? I almost did when Sam (Michael Trucco) was sailing all the ships towards the sun..I always did like Sam.. I will admit,I was a bit peeved at how things were forming and how some things went. I miss D'Anna (Lucy Lawless ...gotta get my Xena fix from somewhere ! lol) and especially Dee (Kandyse McClure). I hated what happened with her character.I think what I did love though,was how they kept a lot of the supporting cast and the little cameos etc. One of my favourite characters has always been Dr Cottle (Donnelly Rhodes). I am glad he was included with a few more scenes than normal.And even Hoshi ! (Brad Dryborough).

I can't believe that it is over !!!!!

Happy 25th Birthday Haley !!!

2009-02-24T06:09:00.001-05:00

~ Miss you, love you ~

Happy 25th Birthday Sarah !!!

2009-01-25T06:15:00.002-05:00

Hehe, its your Golden Birthday (turning 25 on the 25th).....

Love you forever and a day. You are possibly the best friend anyone could ever want or need and I feel honoured to have you ~

Twilight : The Score By Carter Burwell

2008-12-09T06:51:00.003-05:00

So, even though I still haven't really formed my opinion as of yet about what I thought of the Twilight movie,I am sure about what thing. I did really like the music and I thought it fit really well. My favourites are #1,#4,#7 and #14.

The Road To Baby...

2008-12-05T00:24:00.008-05:00

The Phone Call:

So early Wednesday morning I get a call from my doctor's office saying that my tests had came back with bad results and that I needed to go straight to the hospital to be induced either the same day or thursday. Jay and I were soo not prepared.My hospital bag was half packed and nothing was ready. I made a few calls.Jay ran out and did some last minute things like umm getting my camera fixed (appar all it needed was the right sort of batteries) and picking up a few things I would need at the hospital. He didn't get a memory card for my camera though which meant 14 pictures haha..So while he was out doing the shopping I was at home packing my bags and stuff..Cause you know I refused to go into the hospital without first having a shower and shaving my legs lol..So by the time Sarah came and picked us up it was after 2:00pm.

The Assessment:

So we finally make it to the L&D (which we got lost and could not find thank God I wasn't in labour haha),and I realized that I left my health card in the car,which Sarah had to run back and get.We were all so frazzled and worried,none of us were quite on the ball I think.They kept trying to make jokes with me so I wouldn't freak out. My blood pressure tests came back really high and there was a lot of protein in my urine, and the massive swelling in my legs meant that my preeclampsia was not getting any better and they had to do something before it got worst. I was soo hungry and they wouldn't let me eat because they wanted to see if they needed to do and emergency C-section.I was totally against that, so I wanted to make sure that if it was done it was absolutely the last resort.They hooked me up to a moniter that monitered the baby's heartbeat and I had to press this button everytime I felt him move and it would mark it down. There were a good few tests.Holy crap. This brings me to something new. Getting my cervix checked. In retrospect,I think that shit hurt more than labour actually. The nurse had asked me (since its a teaching hospital) did I mind if she checked my cervix too, I said no problem not really knowing what the heck I was getting myself into.She was gentle.The doctor on the other hand tore me up. They said my cervix was still a little high and that it was nowhere near dilated enough (duh,the baby was only 36 weeks and 6 days). I started getting excited thinking that they would be letting me go home. I even made a plan to maybe hit up East Side Mario's for their cheese and artichoke dip on the way home.Fat chance. They admitted me into the L&D ward once a bed was available and Jay and Sarah tucked me in and went home.The plan was that they would start my induction on Thursday.

Blood..and lots of it..

My nurse came and greeted me and like an airline stewardess,she told me the rules and what to do incase of an emergency etc. She was really nice, I liked her a lot. I went to wash my face and stuff before bed, I was about to go pee when I felt trickling down my leg.I checked with my hand and my fingertips came back soaked in blood. This is where I started to freak out. I called my nurse and I started shivering and breathing like I was going to hyperventilate. My first thought was "where is Jay ???". My nurse came as well as like 5 other nurses. They were all very nice and very gentle and they were all checking on me and cleaning it up. The oddness of having someone dress me and put a pad on me and stuff like that was so weird but my mind was racing 50 times a minute to actually process what was going on. I guess they see this stuff everyday so it was nothing to them. All I remember really is that my nurse told them that she would not check my blood pressure now because it would be "through the roof". The doctor came and said that it was from when they checked my cervix that it must have been a "vigorous test" and that I would be fine. They gave me some pills for my blood pressure and told me to go to sleep.

Roommate from hell..

So I know I really shouldn't bitch too much about this. Originally I had asked for a private room, but since there was such a wait for them and since we were told that they were difficult to get,I said screw it, I will just take a ward. I didn't see a point in paying for a semi-private which was like 25 bucks less than the private room.I really really wanted the private room so that Jay could stay with me though so I wouldn't be such a fraidy cat expecting to wake up and find myself in the hospital world in Silent Hill. LOL. I ended up getting a semi-private anyways (hehe and I didn't even have to pay the $225 a night for it). My roommate ended up being this Somalian lady (she said she was Somalian when I introduced myself on the way to the bathroom). She apparentely had been there for many days and didn't want to leave, even though they said that she could and that she was more than fine to go home. She didn't have a baby, from what I understand (from eavesdropping) is that she was 12 weeks pregnant and she had an IV for Hyperemesis ( the same thing I had the first 5 months of my pregnancy) and I guess something else. Her IV would beep everytime it was done or everytime the cords got tangled. And not some quiet beep.Like a loud alarm clock beep.For two days I had to endure hearing that sound as soon as I dozed off.It was like every two hours.There is the call button for you to call your nurse and she never seemed to use it, even though they kept telling her to. She would just let it beep and beep and beep. Everyone was getting annoyed. To get some rest,I had to keep using my call button to call the nurse to come and fix her IV for her. And it was horrible for all the people with the little babies who was on the same side as us. The stupid noise kept waking them all up. I swear it was like the baby in the room beside us would start crying, then the next and the next until it was all the way down the hall.The nurses kept getting annoyed.Especially my nurse who thought that the lady was just being rude. I kept telling her that I just hope I wasn't getting induced the next day because I would be so exhausted. Honestly,I was ready to take a blanket and pillow and sleep in the hallway on the floor somewhere just to get away from the noise. And the best part was everytime I adjusted my bed (which was like twice) and everytime I changed positions, she would kiss her teeth which I was like wtf is her problem, especially cause it paled in comparison to the noise from her and her IV. I was ready to throw both of them out the window by the third hour. LOL so was the lady's husband in the room adjoining to us. To save my sanity and to control the urge I had to just go Hulk and snap,I went and spent the rest of the hours in the kitchen cafeteria reading my book.The whole time she was there she would complain about the food that she couldn't eat it and that they had to get her something different. The poor nurse had to go looking for rice and peas I think it was she said she wanted. The best part was that she would complain about the orange juice and the tomatoes and everything that they made her sick,but she would eat/drink them when the nurse would leave. I remember with my hyperemesis no meant no. I couldn't handle dairy or chicken or pork.It wasn't well..I'm hungry,I guess I'll eat it.It was NOOOOO, get that shit away from me !!!!! I guess its different for everyone. I was rejoicing on Thursday afternoon when I came back and she was gone. Jay had stayed in the hospital with me for a bit and he had a nap and he was even getting annoyed by her and all her noise.

Freaking Starving...

So the rule was basically they didn't know when I was to be induced for sure because the Labour and Delivery Ward was packed and they were waiting for a room to be available to me. The nurse told me that basically it was people like my roommate who was making me wait that long and people who were having things like minor contractions and weren't anywhere near being in labour, but they didn't want to leave. Also, the biggest thing was that they constantly had to run tests on me. If they came back that they were getting worse, they would have to do and emergency c-section and my belly couldn't be full for that apparentely. So I was starving... No wonder the baby was born with low sugar. After two days of them starving me..no wonder.lol.

Ultrasound:

I have no idea why they made me do an ultrasound like an hour before I got induced.Especially when i had one done a few days before and the baby was in birthing position and everything. It's not like he was doing back flips in there. It was nice to get a glimpse of him before though. It was kind of a reminder to me to keep my eyes on the prize no matter how much I felt like flaking out. And no matter how hungry I was..

The Evil Foley Catheter grrr...

So basically right after I had my ultrasound,I had to go straight to the Labour & Deliver assessment area to begin my induction.At this point,there was still not a room for me in the actual L&D area,so I had to go back to the maternity ward. The doctor and nurses were really nice. The doctor sounded like she was either Australian or from New Zealand..Dr Light something..I can't remember,she was nice..and the one nurse resembled Mo Collins from Mad TV. The plan was to use some sort of gel to soften my cervix,so that they can begin the induction and stuff. So they got the gel and strapped me up and got everything ready. It was then that the Dr realized that my "vigorous cervical exam" the day before had actually made me dialate 2 cm ! (I did say it was vigorous and hurt like a beach,didn't I ? ).So the plan for the gel, was scrapped..then came the evil foley catheter.. Appar it brings on your contractions very hard and fast.

They weren't kidding when they said that this shit hurts man !!!!

So I was wheeled back to the maternity ward where I hung out for a bit.I actually had a nap,I think.Then..the foley started to work and I started to feel like I was dying ! That shit hurt man. The contractions started coming on really really badly. Sarah and Jay paged the nurse.She had no idea what the heck should be done because they never appar send people to her ward after starting and induction.But alas,no room.So she had to page someone over from L&D and along came Grace,my angel-nurse, with some pain medication and the idea to have a hot shower. So Sarah & jay helped me over to the shower room (which thankfully was like 1 door away from my room because I was having problems walking.Someone was in there so I sat in the hallway crying in a wheelchair that Sarah made me sit in. Then finally when that guy was done,Sarah and Jay stripped me down and started helping me shower.LOL,but first came the issue of having to figure out how to work the shower lol.Jay had forgotten my conditioner at home,hence why my hair is all frizzy in all the pictures after this point. Then, my nurse came and gave me heating pads, which helped a lot.

Oxytocin...

The best news came when Grace came over again and said that my room in labour and delivery was ready.I was so relieved cause I wanted to go off somewhere by myself and not be going through contractions and stuff infront of everyone in the recovery ward. I wanted some privacy. Jay and Sarah were starving,so they went quick to grab some pizza from the nearby Gino's (that Jay ate while I was in labour...gross). Grace,my angel, took out that stupid foley catheter since I was 3 centimeters dialated.I had to start an IV drip with oxytocin to bring on my labour..I think I actually went up to almost 20 I think.It was insane.They started me off low and they were slowly increasing it. I sat on this exercise ballThen the plan was a whole lot of walking around !! We did two loops around, and then I was just wanting to go lay down.

Bye Bye Water Birth..

I was really wanting to try having a water birth.My plans were pretty much quashed with all the electronic equipment I needed to be hooked up to.I knew going into everything that everything was not going to go as I planned. You imagine that you want to have this earthy, natural,zen kind of experience and sometimes, you just can't.. I just decided to roll with it. This though,was my biggest dissapointment though.I have a feeling if I had been able to have a water birth,I would have not needed the epidural.

Popcicles and Water..Yumm :(

So basically,the doctors basically thought that I was holding on to this pipe dream of actually delivering the baby without having a c-section. They knew so much more than me,so they thought I would end up having a c-section. That meant,no food.Only popcicles and water..yummm.... And of course I was gazing wantonly at Jay and Sarah's pizza...

Vomit,Sweat and Shivers ! Oh my !

As they kept increasing my IV drip,I began to get really really nauseous... I kept throwing up, everywhere and on everything. And the most stupid thing is that they have these little green kidney bean looking containers that you are supposed to puke in.I was like what the heck is this supposed to hold ? gimmme a freaking bucket !!!! Then shortly after that,I began to shiver...and I mean shiver...as if I was in Alaska shiver...It was pretty freaky,but the nurses all said it was normal and a "good sign" that things were progressing.

A moment of calm...time for the Epidural..

I refused to have more popcicles and water,so that pretty much took care of the puking.. I had stopped shivering.. It was then that I had to make an executive decision. I knew i would ahve to get the epidural, that was pretty much predetermined for me (because I have high blood pressure and getting the epidural would lower it).I decided to do it then, while I was calm and not shaking about. I swear, the anesthesiologist that came up looked about my age and after Sarah had said he looked more scared than me. I wish I knew I could ask for a different doctor, but I didn't so he ended up doing my epidural. At first it was ok. The doctor came in and checked my cervix and I had went from 3 centimeters to 7 in a very short time. They broke my water,gave me some Gravol (which made me sleepy) and told me to nap. My doctor then went to perform a c-section on someone else.

Itchy...and in pain..

I don't know how long I slept for, but I woke up with a huge pain in my left side. Apparentely the stupid epidural had only been effective on one side of my body. They gave me an injection of morphine in my IV thingy,which made me taste metal, showing an allergic reaction. Then they told me they could not give me anything.. and all I could use was the little push button that administered more of the epidural medicine...Ah..my little red button.. I was soo itchy ! I kept scratching and scratching. I scratched so hard I left deep marks everywhere (since I could barely feel it) The one thing they don`t tell you about is that the epidural works with gravity. Mine, was going right to my feet. And in between that and the swelling, I could not move my feet at all.

Push that baby out !!!

Finally I was ready to have the baby !! I was pushing like a maniac..They kept telling me not to push until I felt a contraction, but I was like screw that shit..I am hungry and I am doing this now !!!! They brought me this gigantor mirror so that I can see my progress. It made me want to just do it faster. I don`t think I swore or anything..my only shouting demand was to Jay to "push the button !!!" (my pain medication button). Sarah was amazing ! She definitely took point and decided to steer the ship and the nurse took "second in command". I swear it is true.Sarah is really the one who delivered the baby. And the thing I loved the most about her was that she was very encouraging and not patronizing at all.So after two hours of pushing..the little bugger came out. It was so surreal..His head popped out and the nurse started to freak out.She pulled the call buton out of the wall and was screaming that she needed a doctor.. Like 3 of them showed up (the button is not supposed to be used unless there is an emergency because anyone available comes running). They came in just in time to catch him on his way out and to get his cord ready for Jay to cut. Its funny,because you think that you have to completely push the baby out through the whole experience. I stopped pushing after his head came out. The rest was all baby.He was pushing himself out. They kept telling me "don't push !" I was like "its not me, its him !!". So two hours and two stitches later,I was holding my baby boy !

Kaius
Augustus
Immanuel
Umi (海洋)
Stephenson

Date of Birth: November 28th 2008
Place : McMaster Children's Hospital
Weight: 5 pound 8 ounces

Borededness..

2008-11-15T07:29:00.004-05:00

I want to go sleepy times, but it seems the baby has other ideas.

And its so nice cause it is raining and I am like mewww...

Hmm.. I hate to send my snugglebons out in the rain, but he needs to go and pick up my stuff from the library. Especially cause that fricking stupid movie Silk is overdue.. I'm so glad I was playing Scrabble and not really that invested in it. Boring as sheet...

In my other life I'm a stripper named Ms. Candycane Poindexter... LOL, if only the Sims had stripping as an occupation... haha...

Uggh..there is this sickly sweet smell in the house and it is making me sick. I dunno. I think it is a combination of the dish soap and the diswasher liquid,green apple scented of course thanks to Jay :( Uggh..what is whrong with these people and being against the lemony fresh smell. He had bought this purple Mr Clean earlier in my pregnancy that would make me vomit, just from smelling in. And guess what he would clean up my vomit with ?? Yippers.. I think the culprit is this new fabric softener sheets that he is trying out..

I'm cheating at Scrabble and the computer is still kicking my ass..pffft..

2008-11-15T07:27:00.004-05:00

So, in true geek fashion, my new favourite passtime has been to sit here for countless hours playing Scrabble. My mission lately has been to kick the computer "Maven" 's ass. I've gotten to "Whiz" mode...I can't seem to move past that. I found a few good cheat sites, but nothing is working.... grrrr...

Damn...Now I'm gonna need a new hobby

2008-11-04T07:37:00.003-05:00

During our 2 hour wait to see my OB/GYN, Jay and I reflected upon something. With the Election day being today, what will I do when it is all over ? I have been glued to CNN for weeks now. I have been so wrapped up in the politics, you would think that I am an actual American. Well, what the heck else do you do when you have sheety cable and your morning begins at 3:00am ? And well.. Anderson Cooper is like meow....

Seriously though.. What am I gonna do ? I guess I could take up knitting or something. I always wanted to learn how to knit.. Lori-Anne's mom is an unreal knitter. I could sit and watch her knit for hours. She is like swish, swish, swish and she has a row done already. LOl, it figures the Sarah Palin doll would be the one that everyone wants.Here is how much they went for (still have to wait 2 minutes left in bid..)

Waiting..waiting..waiting..holy craps, I know its for a cause, but I can't believe people are paying this much..Seriously, you could buy a car..

Sarah Palin: $19,000.00 (113 bids)
Barack Obama:$8,400.00 (96 bids)
John McCain: $6,000.00 (68 bids)
Joe Biden: $3,550.01 (60 bids)

Aww Barack Obama's grandmother died..

2008-11-03T08:08:00.001-05:00

You know, sometimes you can just look at people, gage their actions and their struggles and see that they really are good people.I dunno, I really feel that way about Barack Obama. I really really wanted his grandma to hang in there to see the results of the election. I really really hope that he wins. I mean imagine how crappy he will feel if he doesn't and he spent the last days of his grandma's life on the campaign trail instead of with her (which I am sure he would have rather been).He has spoken before about how the biggest regret of his life was not being there when his mother died. I hope he wins.

Can't Sleep..Weird Mood...Stir Crazy @ 4 in the morning..

2008-10-29T07:09:00.004-04:00

I dunno...I don't feel like doing anything. I don't feel like watching tv, reading, or playing any games. I feel like just sitting here staring at the wall...or going for a walk or something. Well, I partially blame it on the big ice cap I drank.. couldn't help it. I've been craving them a lot lately..actually anything like a slushy or icy i've been craving..mmm snow cones...

Now I know why the doctors tell you to stay away from caffeine...the baby goes nuts. It's like he's training to be in the UFC or something and using my organs as opponents..I hope he doesn't show interest of being in the UFC.. every fight they will have to police escort me out for pouncing on the opponent like a jaguar.

I'm getting so damn fat. Jay loves it, especially now that I have a bubble butt. I can't stand it. Especially my thighs rubbing together (that has always been my "am I fat ?" test, if they rub together, I need to lose weight). I blame it on that stupid diet the Dr put me on where I had to eat every 2-3 hours because after my hyperemesis, I was underweight and the baby was very underweight. Now he is fine, but I am a fatass.. Well, I guess I should listen to what they say that a having healthy baby is better than any superficial thing.

Here are my measurements to date:

Bust: 44.5

Waist: 40

Hips: 43

And my weight is slowly creeping up to 190. I was 140 before baby..I still can't believe that I gained so much. I feel like a blowfish.. Everything is puffy and poofed out. I feel like a balloon that someone needs to pop. OMG I am so going to make an inappropriate joke about that if they induce me and "poke me in the cooch with a stick" as I like to put it. Hey, at least I am a fun patient. When we went for our registration appointment the nurse told us that she even had fun and we all sat there just chatting so much even though she had a roomful of people waiting lol.

My ribcage hurts so much. It feels like hmmm.. ok, you know when you breathe in and hold it for a long time ? It kinda feels like that. I feel like going for a swim. It's supposed to be good for you because of the whole weightlessness thing, but I still ain't doing it. Not unless they will allow me to wear a full wetsuit lol. Squash me all in there like a polish sausage hehe.

Underwater shit scares the crap out of me. Especially because there is such a mystery about what the heck is actually down there. I was watching this program on this gigantor squid one night and I was like no thank you..Jaws much ? I dunno, I've never really loved the ocean after I got stung by a school of catfish as a child...

I watched this Halloween movie and I was so confused. It's like "omg people got murdered in my house ?, lets have sex". I would love to see a ghetto scary movie. Not ones with all these dumb suburbanites that decide to have sex when things get scary. One thing that confused me too, was who was the father of Jamie whatever's baby ? I hope it wasn't a little incest baby...

Frig... I'm so bored...

Signs of my first pregnancy stretch marks...

2008-10-24T20:18:00.004-04:00

What a bummer eh ? Only few weeks to go and I now start getting stretch marks. To be honest though, I know how to get rid of them, but I already have them everywhere, so I didn't really care too much about having another body part with marks.. I remember when I first learned how to get rid of them, I went crazy. But then Jay had to bust my bubble when I showed him my results. He didn't even notice. That got me thinking, if he doesn't notice or care, why the sheet am I stressing about it ???

I think the only thing that irks me is that all my baby weight is in my newly thundered thighs. Ughh..the fact that my thighs rub together now makes me want to bawl... Mama's gonna be busting ass after this child is born,I am telling you !

Well, I don't feel too bad, Milla Jovovich said that she gained aound 70 pounds with her baby and she looks amazing now.

Doesn't her baby look like a little doll ?

And who knows how much weight Liv Tyler gained when she was pregnant, but boy did they roast her for pictures like these after she had her baby.

I think after this baby is born I will have 60 pounds to lose. Jay and I were talking though and we both want to at least have 2 children before we are 30. I will be 25 next year and Jay will be 27. LOL, so I guess I shouldn't whine to much.. this is gonna be the first stretch marks of many I imagine...

In The News

2008-10-24T18:38:00.002-04:00

Okay, so the backwards "B" didn't clue anyone in that this chick was full of shit ??

Hehe, this story is actually pretty funny. Look what she did to herself for John McCain... Now ask yourself this you crazy backwards B... would John McCain do this for you ? You know, what pisses me off about this dumb bitch is that she accused a "big black guy" as her attacker.... Yeah.. her days are probably numbered. Be prepared for days of no friends and people making fun of you that all lead to Grissom finding you face down in a 4L tub of ice cream after you've downed some pills...Hopefully you apologize to the black community in your suicide note..

Yeah...I'm sure it was just a typo..racist bastards...

Ok, so of course I found it disgusting that the McCain/Palin party has been constantly calling Barack Obama names.One day he is a sexist,the next a terrorist, the next a socialist etc. Especially on this disgusting ploy that because his name is "Barack Hussein Obama" he is automatically a muslim and a terrorist. Wait ? So after all the years since 9/11, they have not learned that not all Muslims are terrorists ?

Hehe, my imaginary boyfriend Daniel Henney will be in the new X:Men movie !

Mmm... Daniel Henney...

You know you are out of the loop when...

2008-10-15T12:53:00.003-04:00

.....You think Wachovia is a type of vodka....

Ode to Smokers : Why do you love to make our lives miserable ?

2008-10-02T22:59:00.003-04:00

I am having some issues with the smokers downstairs. When I first moved in, I was under the impression that the people that lived in my duplex smoked, but they smoked outside. If I knew they smoked in the house,I would not have moved in here due to my allergy to cigarette smoke.

For days my eyes had been stinging and I could smell smoke, but I thought it was because I had the windows open and my neighbour next door likes to sit out on his porch all day smoking, so I closed all the windows. I woke up one morning and I could smell the smoke even more. It was in my hair, it was on my clothes, on my skin. It had permeated my entire apartment. The kicker was all my brand new baby clothes now stink, and I mean stink of cigarette smoke.

My neighbours were never home so I tried to do little remedies to cope with it. I put out a little bowl of vinegar beside my main vent to see if it really was smoke, or my imagination. In about 2 hours the vinegar in the bowl had turned yellow. I used all these sprays, everything, but it wasn't going anywhere. I was getting bad headaches and waking up with my nose bleeding or having lots of dried blood in there. Finally they answered their door and they were very rude to Jay.

I was trying to be very diplomatic and nice, but honestly, why do I have to expense myself or go through so much trouble just to breathe ?? My options are either, I move, I buy an air purifier (that is hundreds of dollars), I block off all of my vents and buy little heaters (which will run up my hydro bill) or I just sit and suffer. Where is a shotgun, when you need one ??

I'm going to find out what my rights are, and if my landlord does nothing about it, I am moving. I am so very annoyed. Why do some people live like this ? Do they like living in a home that reaks like a saloon from the wild west ? No wonder they keep having so many problems making babies. I feel so bad for all their pets.

There is no way I will stay if nothing gets done about this, especially since I will have an infant in like 9 weeks time that will be even more sensitive to it than I am. Plus, I can't open my windows up in the wintertime. Especially the ones in the back that let in all that "eau de poops" smell, cause they aren't so diligent about cleaning their dog poops.Gross.

Welcome to the world Noah :)

2008-09-30T23:25:00.005-04:00

"A child fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty"

♥ Congrats to Lori Anne & Steve ♥

Isn't that the sweetest picture ? Lori-Anne has always been photogenic, but this picture is so gorgeous. LOL, I was talking to Lori-Anne not too long ago and reminiscing about the old days. LOL, I said I would not be having my own kids, I'd be adopting. She said that she would have a bbq and give birth in a kidie pool in the back yard. Hehe, how times change. And how time flies ! Just yesterday we were girls ourselves. It teaches me to truly appreciate every single day.

Michelle Bachman...scary robot..

2008-09-27T02:37:00.005-04:00

Ok, so this lady scares the sheet out of me.I timed it.. She literally sat there on CNN for like 20 minutes with this same look and smile on her face. I tried to do it with her, but my face hurt, so I just watched her. And especially when they did the split screens 4 ways, she just looked stupid. All the other people had emotions and the whole time, there she is sitting with that stupid smile on her face. They insult her views..she does the stupid smile still. I was like "close your mouth lady ! you catching flies ?" I have decided that she is a robot.

Dammit !! I forgot to get soap again...

2008-09-26T11:56:00.005-04:00

Ever since I have been pregnant,I cannot begin to tell you how much I loathe the smell of Dove soap. And of course, it's the only soap that Jay buys when he does grocery shopping. I even told him, "remind me that we need soap". I even told him to make a list, but he said he's remember it. GRRR.. Now i'm gonna have to continue using that purple St. Ives body was that never seems to wash off properly...

I had to go with him today because Mindy's baby shower is this weekend and it is a pot luck, so we have to bring some food. I'm bringing desserts, because i'm very sensitive to the smell of most foods while they are cooking. My plan is to make a Cherry Cheesecake, Brownies, maybe cookies, some Angel Food cakes with fresh fruits on top and an Apple Crisp.

Sheet ! I forgot about apples too. Dang. I told that ding-dong that I was making an apple crisp and I needed apples. He goes out and buys me the sourest, greenest apples, so I needed to buy red ones (the ones I originally asked for). Uggh..

I don't want it to be like how it was with Neisha's shower. My plan for her shower was to do the preps the night before and then wake up early and then start baking to be done by 4. Didn't happen. I didn't get to bed until like 5 and the biggest drawback I didn't count on, was having only one oven. I threw out a good few meals then because I didn't have the time to continue baking them, so I scrambled what I could. And they were the best parts too cause I wanted the good stuff to be nice and hot, so I had started with all the salads and desserts. Her shower was great, but I wish I had been more organized. Especially cause I really really wanted her to have that macaroni pie, especially after I put 2 whole blocks of cheddar in in so it would be nice and cheesy...

Now no one can ever say that I am not a person that learns from my mistakes. I really do. This time around,I decided. I will do everything the night before and then just do the last minute preps on the day of. I'm going to bake all of the cakes and that tonight, and then tomorrow all I have to do is put icing on the brownies, put the cherry topping on the cheesecake, and put the fruits on the angel cakes.Much easier than doing all the baking and stuff then.

Sheet ! I forgot to get batteries for my camera ! Well, Jay has to do some errands tomorrow morning, so I will just tell him to pick me up some batteries and apples. LOL... And SOAP !! Sheet, I can't believe I forgot again !!!

Last day of work :)

2008-09-25T18:55:00.003-04:00

Well, I have to admit. I am a little apprehensive about going on maternity leave so early.I at least wanted to stay on until my eighth month, but I will be done in my seventh. I understand though. I just want to have a healthy baby. And to be really honest, it was getting so hard to be on my feet and active all day long. I would work one day and then need the next two just to sleep and recover. And not to mention my ponch was really starting to get in the way as far as bending and bumping into the counter. Plus, after a long work day, I was really tired of swollen feet and varicose veins. So I guess it's not that bad. Hey, I am greatful that at least they didn't put me on bedrest in the hospital cause then I would be losing my freaking mind. I've just gotta stay home, take it easy, and try to keep my blood pressure in check. I am awful. I haven't been very diligent as far as going every week 3-4 times to check my blood pressure at Shopper's Drug Mart. Well, with more time at home with nothing to do, I will make more of an effort. Now I need to find things to do with all my time. Don't worry, there is plenty to do. I've got Mindy's baby shower coming up, not to mention the crap load of appointments I have to go to. AND, I have to finish putting this house together. Alan was right though, lol that is how well he knows me. I am going to get bored after a few days and get a little stir crazy. I wanted to do a little painting around the house, but I don't think its safe with the fumes and stuff so I guess I will get Jay to do it. We nicked the baby's dresser in a good few places during the move, so I would like to buy some white paint and touch it up before I put all the baby's clothes in it. We set his crib up partially. I took out all of the sleepers and stuff that I bought a while ago and started folding them and putting them on hangers. Well, I should say, I tried to fold them. LOL. They are so teeny weeny, its so hard to fold them at all. I can't believe it though. I can't believe that in a few months, he'll be here. Seems like its been forever. Especially since I have been so sick. Well, I guess I started being sick from the moment of conception lol. "The end's justify the means", or something like that the saying goes. As long as he is healthy, what's a little all day sickness, eh ?

In The News

2008-09-16T16:09:00.004-04:00

This is cool, just as long as it isn't "Planet Nibiru"

Update on the tainted baby formula

T.I.'s baby momma needs to get off her ass and get a JOB

Oddly correct fortune cookies at the Mandarin..

2008-08-24T15:32:00.004-04:00

Jay took me on a date to the Mandarin today. We hadn't been out on a date for a long time, but since life has been wrapped up with getting the house organized, preparing for baby and working.. we barely see each other. And you know, most of the time I am asleep..hehe seem to be doing a lot of that these days.

It was a good date. I ate like a piggy. Jay always keeps track of how many plates everyone eats so that he can get his "money's worth". LOL, I swear the guy is more foreign than I am.. I made him proud. I ate *gasp* 6 plates of food. Ok, so I cheat all the time. I stick to things I like and because I hate wasting food,I only take enough for one spoonful. If I like it, I will get more, if I don't, well, no waste. I always start and try to finish with a bowl of Wonton Soup. It really really soothes the stomach.

LOL, everytime I went out to the food area, everyone kept looking at my belly and smiling at me. This guy even told me, "hey, its the perfect place to get all your cravings". And everyone kept putting things on my plate.And you know me and my politeness.. Smile, and do the little head nod/bow with eyes down and say thank you. Hehe, everyone laughed at my dessert choice. I had some cheesecake, some potato salad,some soup and like 8 green olives...

I love fortune cookies. There is something about the taste of them that I really like. So where most people just tak the fortune out and throw away the cookie, I have my own little collection plate where I eat them later lol.

Jay's fortune was

" There are big changes for you,but you will be happy"

and mine was :

"An introduction will alter your plans"

I know, I know, fortune cookies are made to be generic, but still.. I'd like to think they were just for us and our bebe..

I had a good time..And the perfect end to our meal.. the hot towel (which Jay always tries to get me to put in my purse)

Gok Wan : My Hero..Finally a show NORMAL people can watch and feel good about themselves..

2008-08-19T22:07:00.006-04:00

I found this gem of a show while channel surfing one day. It's called "How to Look Good Naked" (the British version). I think it is one of the best ideas for a show in a long time. Most of these shows make you lose weight or get some sort of work done. This show takes you, and teaches you how to love yourself -AS IS. They help raise your self esteem so that if you choose to lose weight or whatever, you are doing it with more confidence and you have a higher chance of achieving your goal. I've learned so much, especially about bra information. And especially in a world where every commercial is either about something to eat or some magic way to lose weight, and every form of media seems to be to make us feel inadequate, it's nice to be the norm.. even for an hour lol.. I love that they have such a mix of women on there.Thin girls who feel like boys,big girls who feel like cows, post-baby girls who hide everything in baggy baggage and everyone else in between..Seriously though..CHECK IT OUT :) And, don't miss one of my favourite parts, the product review section. Its helped me save a lot of money.

Behold : My idea of perfection

Monica Bellucci... who I think is the epitome of beauty,no matter what age or size she is.. proving normal can be super sexy..

Good Books : A Sound Of Crying : A Ghost Story by Rodie Sudbery

2008-08-19T20:58:00.009-04:00

Description : "What a sinister place to live!" Polly exclaims the very first moment she sees her cousins's house. "I'll bet it's haunted."
"It is not!" Frederick snaps back. "And there's no such thing as a ghost!"
But before long, even Frederick begins to wonder. As for Polly.... she must find out the truth about the lonely 19th century girl who comes alive each night in Polly's frighening dreams

149 Pages

Ages 9-12

My thoughts on this book : Well, firstly, I got this book for free from the lady on Barton Street that used to own a Thrift shop.One day while walking home, something caught my eye.. In the back of this Thrift Shop, there were walls and boxes filled with books..and the 10 cents each was also a huge attraction. After a while of going there and buying more books than I could carry, she told me that she was closing down,and that I could come and take as many books as I wanted for free. She said how funny it was to watch me rifle through piles and piles of books,sneezing and hopping and climbing all over the place. I guess she was like me. I'd rather give my books away and see them used than put in the garbage.So I went a few times and grabbed boxes and boxes of books. The last of what was left, Lori-Anne and I loaded into her brothers car and we took them home.

I dug out this book a few months ago (yes,I own so many,it takes me a while to get around to all of them). Watching TV and being on the computer for more than and hour would make me really nauseated and dizzy,so I started reading A LOT. An upside to pregnancy,I guess.

I really liked this book.It is something I will read again for sure. Polly and her younger siblings are sent away to stay with their aunt,uncle and cousin Simon while their sick mother recuperates. The children are at an opposite, with Polly and her sibling having a love for magic and storytelling and mystery,and the cold hard reality of Simon and his parents who believe in facts and reason. Naturally they think Polly is lying when she tells them that she has dreams and hears the crying of 19th century ghost Sarah. Sarah's rich mother was disowned after she married a commoner.After her mother's death, she is sent to live with her only relative, her mother's brother Samuel, who deeply disliked her mother and now her. When others are around, she is his niece, when they aren't,she is his servant. Polly is desperate to help Sarah,and find out what happened to her, but she doesn't know how. And, in the strange new environment, her best bet is to get her family to believe her.The story goes back and forth, from present to past, but it is not hard to follow. I imagine it is a great book to read to your kids a chapter at a time.Buy this one for your kids..or yourself :)

The Children of Huang Shi 5/5

2008-08-15T21:53:00.005-04:00

Starring : Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Chow Yun-Fat ,Michelle Yeoh, Radha Mitchell

There are some actors that I watch, and I cannot believe their character. Either their real life persona is too big (where I know too many details about their personal life) or they are just not convincing etc. Or, like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers,I had a little girl crush on him once upon a time. It's not always the case though.Sometimes, those actors redeem themselves (example :Tom Cruise in many of his movies like Collateral or The Last Samurai). When I started watching this movie,I knew squat about it, and I didn't even know who was it it. Everytime an actor I recognized walked on camera,I was like "hey,I didn't know they were in this !". I found myself getting more and more engrossed in the story until I really felt like I would love this movie for a long time.

The premise:

I can't wait for this to come out to buy. I'm going to buy it right away. It really is such a nice movie and it is based on the real life and events of George Hogg's life and the "rape of Nanjing". I love in the credits, they found a few of George's students that were still alive and they had little commentaries. It was very sweet. Give this movie a try :)

In honour of my craving for a Tunnocks caramel, here are a few people of half Scottish heritage

2008-08-12T19:43:00.000-04:00

I love Tunnocks caramel bars. They make me remember back home so much ! I've been craving them (along with a lot of other food from Trinidad lately). Since I don't know where to buy them, I will focus all this Scottish energy into something else.

Name:Carmen Ejogo
Date of Birth:January 1,1974
Place of Birth:London,England
Occupation:Actress
Heritage:Nigerian father & Scottish mother
Notability:In 2006 she won Best Supporting Actress for her role as Alean in Lackawanna Blues at the Black Reel Awards.

Name: Rory Cochrane
Date of Birth:February 28,1972
Place of Birth:Syracuse,New York,USA
Occupation:Actor
Heritage: Scottish-Irish father & Indian mother
Notability:Best known for his role as "Tim Speedle" on CSI Miami

Name:Elizabeth Stamatina "Tina" Fey
Date of Birth:May 18, 1970
Place of Birth:Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, USA
Occupation:Writer, Comedian, Actress and Producer
Heritage:German-Scottish father & Greek mother
Notability:Best known for her work on Saturday Night Live

Name: Kathaleeya "Mam" McIntosh

(คัทลียา แมคอินทอช)
Date of Birth:November 10, 1972
Place of Birth:Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation:Actress,Model,Television Host
Heritage:Scottish father & Thai mother

Name:Robert John Downey, Jr.
Date of Birth: April 4, 1965
Place of Birth:New York City, New York, USA
Occupation:Actor & Musician
Heritage:Scottish-German mother & Irish-Jewish father
Notability: In 1993 he was nominated for an Academy Award for his role as Charlie Chaplin in the film "Chaplin".

Name:Helen Brodie
Place of Birth:Leeds,England
Occupation:Actress, Model, Fashion & Style Consultant
Heritage:Scottish father and Indian (Mangalore) mother
Notability:Helen's claim to fame was her role as "Dona Paula / Leela Miranda" in the film Tales of the Kama Sutra 2: Monsoon.

Name: Crystal Lowe
Date of Birth:January 20, 1981
Place of Birth: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Occupation:Actress,Model
Heritage: Scottish mother & Chinese father

Name: Kate "KT" Tunstall
Date of Birth:June 23, 1975
Place of Birth:St Andrews, Scotland
Occupation: Singer,Songwriter
Heritage:Half Chinese and half Scottish mother & Irish father

Name: Sara Ghulam
Date of Birth: May 3, 1989
Place of Birth:Toronto, Canada
Occupation:Model,Singer
Heritage:Scottish-Maltese mother & Indian father

My little Godson Amare is getting teeth :)

2008-08-11T14:46:00.001-04:00

I love this picture of him.Hehe, it looks as if he is modelling for Baby GQ or something :)

Well, in related news, his momma Neisha has agreed to be my birth coach.LOL, just incase Jay passes out or something..hehe.. Seriously though.I don' want someone there that will patronize me. I'm kinda like Miranda from SATC. I want someone calm and collected, someone who knows what I want and if I cannot express that,they will do it for me. Neisha embodies all of these things. She knows what I want and she knows when to take control of the situation if things are going haywire or no one is listening to what i'm saying (ask her about my wedding lol). And she has this serene calmness about her.I always feel comfortable and at ease around her. Neisha is one of those people, when you are talking, you know that she is listening to every word you say and that she will advise you the best way possible, even if it isn't the answer you want to hear. I'm telling you I love that girl so much ! She is most definitely a soul sister to me ♥

♥Neisha,Me,Shelita♥

This weeks "Cravings" Edition

2008-08-11T09:50:00.001-04:00

Old Fashioned Buttermilk Donuts:

I have been craving these donuts for a while now, but no where seemed to have them. Finally Jay found them and bought be a big container of them :)

Oranges & Orange Juice:

I have always had a love/hate relationship with oranges.I love them when I eat them and then I hate them when they give me tummy troubles.I think that is probably because one year that was all I drank (seriously).Normally they give me such bad heartburn,and I can't handle them, but lately..I dunno. It's like they've opened some secret portal in me.Some secret thirst that needed to be quenched.I can't get enough of the stuff.I can go through a whole carton and a whole bag of like 6 oranges in one day ! LOL, it's funny because now my fingers always smell like oranges. My only peeve is that it has to be no-name orange juice,because the other ones are a bit too thick for me. And forget that Sunny D crap.You drink a glass of that and you need a gallon of water to quench the thirst it leaves you with.

Kiwis:

I have always loved kiwis. I was beginning to get tired of eating the same selection of fruits,my "safe food" (aka. foods that are tried and tested not to come back up and say hello to the porcelain),so I decided to be brave and try some kiwis.

Hot Sauce:

Lately I can't get enough of hot sauce.I eat it on almost everything,which is pretty weird because I don't even like eating ketchup,muchless hot sauce.

The Dark Knight will blow your mind 5/5

2008-07-29T21:56:00.005-04:00

This movie was amazing.Christian Bale,Morgan Freeman,Sir Michael Caine and Gary Oldman are always great. Heath Ledger was amazing ! He really really stole the show. Seriously.. wait till you see it and then try to disagree that he didn't do an amazing job. I loved his character. It's like you believe everything he says, except for the fact that he kinda scares you.I thought that they would get more use out of Two-Face though..so that was a bit of a bummer.Holy crap is this movie long ! (no, i'm not complaining).I thought it would end like three times...and then it kept going and I was like Yippeee :) And, the first time around,I thought I hated Katie Holmes.. This time around Maggie Gyllenhaal played the character of Rachel Dawes,and I realized..I just really hated her character...So I wasn't to sad when.. Hehe, I love the fact that Cillian Murphy had a little cameo :)

I want a preggo torso cast :)

2008-07-20T13:50:00.004-04:00

So,I have always wanted to get a belly cast done. I went through this phase where I just loved doing plaster casting.The best thing I ever casted was my left hand, but it didn't look like my hand, It looked like a man's hand, so I threw it away lol. Trust me throw in some boredom and a full bag of plaster, and you have me, like a kid on christmas.LOL, don't even ask me what I used for the mold. Hehe. Well, I will say the first thing I did use was a cake pan.And then ice-cube trays that were shaped like fruit (which i'm sure everybody owns).

I have always wanted to do a belly cast though, but I thought it was pretty pointless. Now that i'm pregnant though, its totally a possibility :) YAY. Well, I've always wanted something to capture what pregnancy did to me.Pregnancy nudes are a bit dodgy. You always worry who is taking them and what there gonna do with them after, 'cause you know.. I totally don't want to end up on some fetish website for guys (or women) who like preggoes (Maiesiophilia).

And lets face it, I don't have enough patience to sit there and have my portrait done, muchless have it painted (hmm... unless its a portrait that I will call "A Preggo..in Slumber"). My only other option is pretty much casting.

I don't know if I will do it myself, or have a professional do it. Probably easier to have a prof do it, but I mean, what do I do with all these off days I have ? Redecorate ? Fold clothes ? Paint my nails ten thousand times ? So, doing it myself it a possibilty.. But I know me, I'd get lazy and then me like "meh, I don't wanna do this anymore". And then there is Jay. Jay's gonna have a heart attack.." OMG Rachael ! (in that annoying tone that he says my name when he is frustrated), Look at the huge mess you are making..blahdy blahdy blah". So maybe I should just pay someone to do it then...

Well, I don't want just a stupid cast of my belly. I want a cast of my whole torso, cause if my tetas aren't in it, then what is the point.lol. Maybe something like this -->

It looks tasteful and pretty. Maybe the addition of arms is a better idea.Holy cow this thing is gonna cost me an arm and a leg. Ugghh.. there goes another $400 dollars.. Ok, so this is where I turn into a total crybaby.

Incase you are curious, the cat is Jay mwhaha. Uggh.. I'm tired of being sick all the time. And being broke...grr..I've totally given up on my Ebay addiction. I'm used to having so much money to do absolutely nothing of importance with. Now its just depressing... I mean, how much $$ do I really have working 6 hours a week ? Ack, don't remind me.. Now i'm soo poor !! Wahhhhhhhhh ! Omg, these pregnancy hormones are killing me...

Firk ! In the time i've sat here,I've had to repaint my thumb four times now ggrrr.. Hehe, I will cheer myself up with some Azumanga Daioh.

And here is my weapon when I want to kill Jay with cuteness when we are having a fight. Oh you act so annoyed, but I know you like it !

Word of the Day : Reticent

2008-07-13T23:57:00.001-04:00

Main Entry: ret·i·cent
Pronunciation: \-sənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin reticent-, reticens, present participle of reticēre to keep silent, from re- + tacēre to be silent — more at tacit
Date: circa 1834

Meaning: Keeping one's thoughts and opinions to oneself; reserved or restrained.

Just incase I was ever confused, this baby is definitely the fruit of Jay's looms..

2008-07-13T20:38:00.005-04:00

I know my baby is still in utero, but I cannot help noticing similarities between it, and its father,Jay.Well, mostly culinary similarities..and a certain annoying habit of waking me up when I am sleeping with a poke.lol.

One week, it was all about the hot peppers.Normally I like hot peppers, but its the aftermath that kills me.Jay loves them. He even likes indian food (which I can't stand).One week, he was killing me with the stench of indian food, I really thought I would die(preggoes are sensitive to smells and indian food is so pungent).And ever since I introduced him to cayenne pepper, he eats it on everything.I went through a whole week of going crazy with the peppers. I ate them on everything ! Pizza, sandwiches,pasta, everything ! I even went and got two of those mystery meat 7-11 sausages (I'm not a hot dog or sausage person at all) and I loaded them up with hot peppers and jalapenos (yes,I even got them from the condiment section,which I am normally totally against for germy reasons).But I ate them, and life was bliss.. until a few hours later..

P.S. If you want to set your a-hole on fire or turn it inside out..eat a Scotch Bonnet...

The next one are these stinky chewy candies.. I think they are grosst.. Jay loves them.. I can't even chew them, my teeth are so close together that it takes me hours of cleaning to get them out of every nook and cranny..So I have to sit there and suck on them. Last week,I ate a whole entire bag of these..I know..weird..

I think the only thing so far that Jay loves and me and the baby BOTH hate, is the smell of his Versace cologne.. It makes us both want to puke..

Quote of The Day : Iris Murdoch

2008-07-07T20:07:00.004-04:00

"We can only learn to love by loving. "

~Iris Murdoch (British novelist (1919 - 1999)

To Bumbo , or not to Bumbo..

2008-06-18T05:37:00.006-04:00

Everyone I have seemed to talk to about things that I should buy for the baby suggested a Bumbo.. "a what ? " I said."What is that ?".

2 oz dark rum
1 oz lemon juice
1/2 tsp grenadine syrup
1/4 tsp grated nutmeg

???

Nope, not that Bumbo . This bumbo...

The Bumbo , described as "the World's First and only seat for babies who are not yet able to sit up on their own". The world's first ? Maybe. The only ? Definitely not. Like many items, it has been duplicated and changed and adapted by many other companies.

Example : bébéPOD

Now, I do remember last year the Bumbo chairs being recalled. Not because of unsafe paint or whatever. It seemed more like a patent problem. Babies were easily tipping the chair from whatever it was placed on (the floor, the table, a couch). And of course, most of it was blamed on the idiot parents that didn't supervise their children properly. Which is true, some parents find that assurance that the product has been tested rigorously and they fall into that false sense of security. Why would stores sell it if it wasn't safe , right? And then there are those that are so tired and in desperate need of "me" time, that they put the baby in the chair, and take a break. Sometimes, it's not even to break. Sometimes its to get the phone, or to stop the pot from boiling over, or to put the laundry in the dryer. It's always "I'll just be a minute"....

Then, of course, the parents fired back because they weren't idiots, most of them had their babies in view, but didn't reach them in time to catch them from falling. That is true too. Accidents happen so fast sometimes..Even before you can register what is happening. When the number of accidents grow..nationwide.. and the injuries (from bruises to fractures), of course it is time to say "maybe it's not so safe". After all, Betty who lives two blocks away from Jenny might have the same chair. Betty's child has never fell, and she still lives in that false sense of security. Jenny's child has suffered sever fractures and she probably will never use that chair again. Many people were up in arms about the "recall". Why recall the item because of less that 30 stupid parents ?? Well, awareness. To shake people like Betty out of their false sense of security.

Is it right to blame those parents then ? Call them stupid and bad parents ? But then you see ads like these (above). A happy mother feeding her happy little baby on a table top. Wait... I thought that the Bumbo people said you shouldn't put the chair on elevated surfaces ?? What the hell do they call a table top then ? How many parents do you think saw these pictures and got the bumbo for that exact reason. How many parents do you think, too this chair home and reacted what they saw in this picture ? No matter what it said on the box. There is blame on both sides. Both sides do have a valid point. What do we get out of that. Well, I can't speak for you, but as for me, it gives me perspective. I really need to be aware of the things I buy for my child (an other children). It is not as hard as you think. A quick google search and you can find reviews of the items from real parents, not the fancy shmancy gimmicks that these companies use to try to get your hard earned dollar. You can find information, and useful advice. Shake yourself out of the dreamland. Just because it is out there, doesn't mean it is safe. Do your research beforehand. Don't fall into trends. Wait until the trend is over. Find out if it really is worth it.

I haven't tried the Bumbo. I've heard good and bad things about it. As far as me buying one... probably not. Not because of all the recall stuff.. I mean, your kid could break its head off of anything these days. It could ingest lead from anything it sticks into its mouth. It's food could be tainted with salmonella or something.. It's the sour side of life. I wouldn't get it mainly because of the price. That, and the no head support thing kinda makes me worry a bit. And, I guess the fact that there is very little leg room. So I mean, If I have a little fat baby it would be totally out of the question. I'm not being funny. I was trolling Kijiji and that is the reason why most of the parents are selling them. That, and their short shelf life,I guess. I mean, how long could you really use it for ? Nah, I'll probably be frugal and just buy a high chair that I can get lots of use out of.

Or, you know...use the car seat that I HAD to buy even though I don't own a car...

Another day, another vist to the ER

2008-06-13T10:03:00.006-04:00

Ok, so I am getting pretty terrible. Especially because now people are starting to remember me. I was at work and I started to get really bad cramps. I went into the ER at like 8:45 - 9:00 and I didn't leave until the morning.

They started checking me for the cramps.I had to do a pee test. I had to get a pap test done (just to make sure there was no bleeding).I guess the triage nurse had noticed that my blood pressure was a bit on the high side, but I always tell them that its probably because i'm nervous. They checked me a couple of hours later when they were going to let me go home and that was the beginning of an even longer night.

I was seen by like 4 doctors. They were all really nice, but I was so tired and hungry. I kept eating Werthers to keep my sugars up. The nurse that was doing my blood pressure started freaking out because it was apparentely really really high. I dunno why. She was hitting the machine like it was broken. Then she was asking me why would it be so high, did I know. How could it be so high, when all I had been doing was sitting here.I started to get freaked out.

Then the doctor came in with so many questions and no matter how chipper I tried to act,I was fizzing out. He was talking to me about preeclampsia and high risk pregnancies and that, it scared me, but I just wanted to go home. It seemed like it was too much to take in at once.. all by myself. I needed to get the hell out of there.To wake up and have it be just a bad dream.

I did try to sneak out, but the nurse caught me, so I told her I was just looking for a clock and if she knew what the time was. They took a lot of blood, which made me woozy and more tired. And now the head of the OB/GYN department at McMaster is supposed to call me today so I can go and have her check me out.

I should be napping right now, but I can't freaking relax. I can't stop thinking.Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is a dead baby. I know I should take their advice and relax and stay calm, but I can't. I'm probably raising my blood pressure even more,aren't I ? All I want is to have a healthy baby, and to be healthy myself. In 2008.. is that too much to ask for ? Or are we still, with the curse of Eve, dropping of like flies or suffering to the point of illness just to bring a new life into the world ?

L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara Review 2/5

2008-06-12T23:15:00.000-04:00

I bought two of these mascaras when they were on sale at Shoppers. The first one I bought,I didn't realize wasn't waterproof..so at the end of the night I ended up with mascara everywhere. Maybe it just isn't an ideal mascara for summertime.I knew I would eventually through it away,because after the first time wearing it, it was a no-no for me. It seemed a waste to throw away something I spent ten bucks for and only used once,so I gave it to Kim. She said it works really well for her,so maybe this is just my bad experiences.

I went out and bought the waterproof version (it was on sale and I was out of mascara). I did not like it very much either. It had the same fat brush as the first one, which I found really hard putting on my little eyes.I know the brush is a personal choice, but I have used bigger brushes and had better luck.I think what really works against it is he fact that it is so wet.Both versions of this mascara are really wet and take a while to dry.Which blows my mind because it had no problems drying on my skin.

Both versions smear when you try to wipe/wash them off, no matter what you use. I think it is because it is so thick and moist.If you have normal to long eyelashes and small eyes like me, its very easy to get little flecks on or above your crease. While trying to finish this mascara,I did something I had never did before : Applying my mascara first. That way, if it got anywhere I didn't want it to go,I didn't have a lot to remove and re-apply.

Also, the formula is so very thick that it clumps easily.If you buy this, I reccomend you also invest in a good eye make-up remover,cause this sucker is a pain to get off. I would wash it off the shower,letting the steam "melt" it. Then after the shower I would do my normal face washing routine and I used a good few new cotton balls (and ruined some towels) with three kinds of remover I had on hand and I would still wake up with the tell-tale mascara panda eyes. It made my dark circles worse, all that rubbing and washing, just to get this stuff off..

Even Jay noticed how messy it was (I guess there is nothing better for him to do but sit there and criticize when he says I take forever to get ready..must be nice to shower and just put on a shirt and pants and brush hair jerk..).Seriously though. When you take the brush out, so much product comes out so you have to wipe it off on something, and it has a way of getting on your hands and everything.

I would say that some might love this mascara, especially those with short or thin eyelashes. But the rest of us might hate it. I would say skip it...

PROS: Does exactly what it says "volumizes", Long lasting (lol)

CONS: Very wet,Hard to remove, easily clumps, Messy, Difficult to remove (especially anything over 1 coat).

Heat Stroke...

2008-06-11T11:47:00.001-04:00

I had to go to the ER after work today. The air condition is broken at work and with the heat of everything, you feel like your being cooked from the inside out. It kept going from 86 C up .. I thought I was going to faint. So for the rest of the shift,I sat in the doorway and held the door open to get fresh air. I came home, showered, and went to the ER. The nurse was really nice. It was late, so she just told me things I could do to help, especially since they were busy and I would be there for a while. There wasn't anything that the doctor could give me, so I came home. I'm so tired. At least the house is cold. I've been drinking a lot of cranberry juice, but now its starting to give me heartburn. I didn't expect this baby thing to be a walk in the park, but i'm still waiting for the clouds to part. I feel like a broken toy. I don't want to be around anyone.I want to be by myself.. but most of all, I want to sleep...

Memories... & Sarah Brightman's Eden

2008-06-10T21:41:00.001-04:00

I fell in love with Sarah Brightman when I was young, and she was still working with Andrew Lloyd Webber. I remember my music teacher played us a copy of her singing some songs from The Phantom of The Opera. That is where the obsession began.I instantly fell in love. I had never heard anything so beautiful in my entire life. It was as if an angel had fell from the sky, and just started singing. When I realized,she was only a mere mortal, I decided I was going to learn and train myself t sing just like her.It became my private quest. I have given many concerts to the walls of kitchens and bathrooms. My favourite time was at the cottage.Sitting on the dock, just belting it out to the water. You see, no one at any of these times liked opera or classical. The only people who did were older people.My friends were all interested in different groups,and so was I even, but this was my secret passion. I remember when I was in high school and met Josephine.She would grab me and say "sing something for me Rachael". I was always so shy about it, but I did it anyway and the look of happiness on her face was something that I was not used to. She would never want me to stop,so it was always "Jose,I gottta go, or i'll be late for class". I remember one time she made me sing infront of all of these people.She just grabbed me and told everyone that they had to hear me sing and I did.I had never ever done that before. Sang infront of strangers by myself. It was always with a choir or my friends or someone else. Then my life changed.After my parents had picked out my school schedule, I had two remaining slots for extra classes. So it was easy, drama and vocal class. I never realized it then, but both these classes would change me so much. Especially the latter.

I met my teacher Mrs Linda Gatto, a real life angel among lesser creatures. One of her tests was that we sing alone,infront of the whole class. I thought I was going to die. I remember one time,she caught me hiding under my desk, because I didn't really want to do that. There were all the girls in the class, that you can tell they had always been nurtured. They had always been told that they were good and the people around them supported what they did. I had never had that.All I was always told to do was focus on grades and that that stuff was a waste of time. But this, this was so different. I think she saw that in me. That secret I had hidden in me for years, she was trying so hard to pull out into the open. And what got me, was that she was the first person in my life who truly believed in me. Other teachers had always told my parents that they should encourage my singing.They even convinced my parents to let me join the choir even.This was different. This was the first person that didn't try to convince my parents, but me.Who wanted to show me, what I could be.The first person who actually looked at me, and saw ME. I began to flourish, I had never been so happy in my entire life.It's amazing what you can accomplish when SOMEONE believes in you. She was the best person. Everytime I looked at her I felt as if I was looking at someone not from this earth. She had adopted her 3 children from Kosovo, and every year I think it was, she would take crates and crates of stuff to the little children in the orphanages in China. I guess that is what started my dream of adopting a chinese baby. I had never in my life met such a person.My grades even got better.That year I think they were the best they ever were.

Tragedy struck. Mrs. Gatto had been secretly battling many internal cancers,and then one day, she was gone. I was crushed. It was as if I had lost a parent or something. Someone who had meant so much to me. I don't even think she knew how much she meant to me. And like all people who grew up cold and living in their heads, I receded back into myself. I went to her funeral and everything. I didn't feel anything. I didn't cry. I didn't believe she was gone. I expected to walk into class and tell her about a new song I heard or something. I went home, I changed, I went to the library with Angel to do our project, and then it hit me as I sat there staring off into space. She wasn't here anymore,I wouldn't see her again. My life went into a dowmward spiral. I hated everyone and everything. I hated God (how could he just sit by and let things like this happen ?), I hated my parents, I hated school. I hated life.I sank into a deep depression, but this time, there was no one to pull me out. That was the roughest time of my life. I pulled away from everyone. I rebelled against everyone. What good was worring about my stupid grades and everything when my life could easily be snuffed out by the very guy I had spent my whole life believing in and praying to. As if we were all nothing to him.Just numbers. Why did it have to be her ? Why not some child molester or murderer someone else. I lost my desire and my will to live. I felt alone, isolated, floating on a deflating raft in the middle of the ocean. My life changed again.

It has taken many years for me to talk about Mrs Gatto. And even more, to make me start singing again. I have resorted to my old relationship with singing. Giving concerts sometimes when no one is around.For many years,I would open my mouth and no sound would come out. I remember when I worked at Blockbuster, I rented this Hilary Duff movie for my brother Michael (because he had a huge crush on her). It was something about singing,and Aidan from SATC was in it. While I was cleaning,I put it on (like I do a lot with movies) and I just listened. I put down my broom and I become so interested in the movie. For the first time in my life,I was starting to realize what had happened to me. I saw me. I never saw the ending to that movie. I couldn't really handle it,so I turned it off in between. Lori-Anne tried so much to make me my old self again. Me and her would karaoke in the middle of my living room with Jay's band equipment. I still live a lot in my head. I am still a little cold. In Sarah Brightman's music though, I see what could have been and what has transpired. I remember Mrs Gatto. I remember all that she did for me.I think this cd means so much to me mostly too,because for the first time in my life,I was going to sing a Sarah Brightman song out loud for others to hear and Mrs Gatto had been helping me before she got really sick. The last time I ever sang infront of a lot of people, I remember I choked. If she had lived, I was supposed to be singing my Sarah Brightman song,but I never did.I hope wherever she is, she is happy now, and at peace. And as for me, I don't know. I am like the broken China vase that needs a lot of time and really good glue to fix. But no matter how much you try,even if you succeed, there will still be shards missing.

Here are a few songs from my favourite Sarah Brightman cd "Eden". I love all the songs, but the song "Only An Ocean Away" makes me remember Mrs Gatto. It still, even to this day, makes me cry.The song "Deliver Me" is the song that really does me in. It makes me think. It doesn't matter in life what you do or how much money you make. What matters is the people that you love and the lives you touch. ~

This week's "Cravings" Edition

2008-05-21T10:18:00.003-04:00

Hehe,yes I did send Jay to 7-11 to get me these at 3 in the morning. Bless his wittle heart. Yeah right.. have you seen me upset pulling the "puppy dog" face ? Hehe... Buddy had no choice...

Jamaican Patties:

These patties are possibly the only solid food I have been able to handle lately.

Pineapples:

Ok,so I did crave these, but I regretted them for about a week afterwards.They tore the crap out of my mouth and lips.And boy did they irritate my wisdom teeth that were coming in.It sucked cause I didn't know what was safe or not to take (especially cause the pharmacist gives Jay the tsk-tsk when he buys me Gravol). Anbesol then became my best friend this week.

Cheetos:

Don't worry, I have thoroughly expired every single Britney Spears or fat joke surrounding Cheetos myself lol.

Word of the Day : Rebar

2008-05-16T00:21:00.002-04:00

According to Wikipedia :

"A rebar, or reinforcing bar, is a common steel bar, and is commonly used in reinforced concrete and reinforced masonry structures. It is usually formed from carbon steel, and is given ridges for better frictional adhesion to the concrete. It can also be described as reinforcement or reinforcing steel."

Like many of the words in this category.I have no idea why it popped into my head or where I had heard it before.

Help !! I want to find some prints by Kagaya !!

2008-05-09T20:43:00.010-04:00

I'm doing an "ocean" themed nursery and I would love some prints by Japanese digital artist Kagaya Yutaka. I remember they were once sold on his site, but they have redone his site and I have no idea where to find anything. It would be great if I could get them in an actual store. I checked on Ebay , but there really isn't anything other than puzzles.If anyone knows where I could purchase some prints from, just send me an email or something. It would be much appreciated.

I smell like sweat and vomit.. this is so not how I glamourized being pregnant..

2008-05-06T08:46:00.006-04:00

If anyone is curious.. I feel like shit on wheels..

You know, when I sat there fantasizing about being pregnant, it mostly involved weekly trips to the Mandarin and craving all sorts of yumminess and Jay having to get them just BECAUSE.

Not being staked out by the toilet, the very smell or look of anything edible sending me to my porcelain mistress..

I've realized why people suffer from so many weight issues. You cannot turn on the TV without seing ten kazillion commercials for something edible. It's like they think all we do is eat and watch TV. Hmmm..

Stupid Ebay currency converter

2008-03-25T01:33:00.004-04:00

Currency Converter

I know it's kinda dumb to pick on this, but i'm kinda frustrated. The ebay currency converter always seems to be off for me..For example. I just bought Boys Over Flowers Volume 1-12 on dvd. The currency converter says :

116.11 US = 118.89 CAD

Now, after looking it up on many currency conversion sites, they say the RIGHT answer, that it is in fact :

116.11 US = 117.96

How the heck does that happen ? I'm not that familiar with Ebay..well, I troll it a lot and window shop, and sometimes I actually buy.. but is that how they make their money ? I don't understand it at all..

The Hana Yori Dango Final Trailer is out

2008-03-24T11:51:00.001-04:00

http://www.hanadan-final.jp/index.html

Amerie & Angela Rogers (African-American/Korean)

2008-03-17T02:06:00.004-04:00

Name: Amerie Mi Marie Rogers
D.O.B:January 12, 1978
P.O.B.: Fitchburg, Massachusetts, United States
Occupation: Singer, Songwriter, Record Producer, Dancer, Actress, Model, and Flautist
Heritage: African-American father and a Korean mother

Name: Angela Rogers
Occupation: Lawyer
Heritage: African-American father and a Korean mother

Although their mother decided not to teach the girls Korean when they were younger, they are both now at a conversational level. Amerie is known for also giving autographs in english,as well as Korean.

source : Wikipedia

Sleep.. aka my favourite passtime..

2008-03-14T05:49:00.007-04:00

Someone asked me what sleeping meant to me this week.

This is how I explained it :

"It's like you know how when you are a kid and recess is your favourite part of school, well, when you become and adult, it seems sleep is the new recess"

They still didn't get it..Must be nice to get your 8 hours a night you prick...

Someone said "Sleep is the new sex".. well, I wouldn't go that far..

I am the kind of sleeper that gives you two options:

#1. Coddle me, snuggle me, love me up

#2 Stay on your side and don't touch me...

Jay's lucky that instead of sleeping on either of my big beds,I do it Japanese style and sleep with a mattress on the floor.

T.G.I.F.

2008-03-14T05:45:00.005-04:00

Holy crips..its friday..and about fricking time too !! Hehehe, i'm so happy :) I just have to work until 11 tonight, and then I am off until Tuesday. Yay !!!

Weird....

2008-03-11T07:49:00.005-04:00

Last night,no matter how tired I was, I forced myself to stay awake for Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares.No, there is nothing wrong with the show.It's the opposite.I love the show so much, I never miss it when I get the chance to watch it.So there I was,laying there, squinting, tying to watch it.

The television was on sleep mode, so I caught a bit of the show that was after. It's that Restuarant makeover show. This morning, I get up, turn on the tv to see what time it is and its the same show on again.Ok, well not so trippy..but when you just woke up and you are still out of sorts, it's kinda trippy.

I remember getting up one morning to go jogging.I get outside and there is this thick fog outside. There was no one around, no cars, no people, nothing.It was like being in Silent Hill. I was waiting for one of those creatures to pop out and bite me in the ass.Holy crap, if I heard that horn,I would have probably pissed my pants! lol.

No ! Not China Importers !!!!

2008-03-03T20:21:00.003-05:00

Someone,please say it isn't so ! While trolling Kijiji, I saw an ad saying that China Importers is *gasp* CLOSING ! I am not impressed ! That is one of my favourite stores ! The people in there are so so nice ! Ugh.. my day has just been ruined..now I am sad :(

Rome Is Coming To The History Channel :)

2008-01-04T16:19:00.004-05:00

Hehehe.. I have no idea why I am so happy..especially since I own season one (yeah.. I didn't get Rome Season 2 for christmas..I'm not that sad,I got a freaking laptop...a freaking laptop hehehe).

Apparentely its supposed to debut January 14th, so I will tune in for sure !

I don't know, I have been low since I found out that Villiers will not be in Bond 22.. Dang.. I even bought Casino Royale the first day brand new just because of him (and yes it was a good movie too,so that isn't the only reason).. I wasn't even my usual cheap self.Usually I wait until the price goes down or I wait for it to go to PRP price at Blockbuster.Speaking of which...I still need to buy Pan's Labyrinth.

But news on Tobias has been pretty slim these days.So I guess any scrap is good.

For frigs sake..can I actually find some decent headphones ???

2007-12-14T06:32:00.001-05:00

I swear this is the third pair i've went through in a month.. Grrrr... I saw these ones that are $80...Yeah right..I'm so mad right now ...

Possibly the worst thing I ever did with someone's christmas present...

2007-12-14T06:16:00.001-05:00

I remember one year I did all my Christmas shopping early and everything was great. Well great that is until late one night when we were snowed in and I was jonesing for something sweet.The only way out of my apartment was out the front and the stairs had all iced over (It had snowed, then rained, then snowed, if you live in canada you'll know what I mean). In desperation, I went under the tree, unwrapped the ginormous Toblerone I had bought for Jay and I sat blissfully eating it and watching LOTR.Mwahaha..I went to Shoppers Drug Mart the next day and bought him a replacement that was like 3 dollars more than the one I had originally gotten from Walmart.It's funny because I actually was really mad and the whole way home I cursed my weakness.So the next time I was iced in and I was jonesing for a snack, I took a hammer and a crowbar and I went outside and started chiselling it all off.I think that was pretty amusing for the neighbours and people passing by on Barton street cause I probably looked like a crack head having a fit. lol... sitting out there in my winter jacket and shorts with my feet in jay's shoes which seem ten sizes bigger than my feet.If only my life was the Truman Show how amusing it would be.Way better than the manufactured reality crap they have on TV nowadays.

Moral of this story :

Don't give into weaknes, unless you plan to pay more $$$

or, you know, next time, buy two Tobelerones...

When I need to feel like a child at Christmas...

2007-12-07T00:04:00.001-05:00

Ok, so maybe this makes me a huge loser, but sometimes grown up life gets to me.I need to return to the safety of my childhood, and just for a few hours escape reality.I slip into that blanket of escapism that film seems to offer.Especially around the holidays. Everything is so commercial and I absolutely cannot stand christmas music. Instead I watch cartoons and christmas movies. If you are a humbug around christmas time,give it a try :)

CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR

My Christmas List :)

2007-11-19T21:14:00.001-05:00

1. Carnivale Season One

2.Carnivale Season Two

3. Rome Season Two

4. IPOD shuffle

Now,i'm not usually a slave to fashion, especially the IPOD craze.I can't stand using Itunes.The reason I like this product is because of the clippy thingy. I've started getting fit again,and every morning I try to go running. The problem is most mp3 players hang around your neck (not so ideal when you are running cause it bounces off your tits and hits you in the face) or go in your pocket (i'm afraid it will fall out) so this one seems pretty cool.

5.mmm... Toblerone..It's not christmas without a toblerone.

Every Christmas,someone is bound to get me one of those ginormous Toblerones... and I LOVE it..I eat it until I get sick of it,and then I bake it in a cake or muffins or something.

Oww my back..

2007-11-11T09:58:00.001-05:00

I'm so freaking tired.I'm at work right now.I have to work the 8-4 shift.I had two hours of sleep last night (I worked until late last night).I don't know how I slept, but it must have been in a bad position because my back hurts so bad.I kept waking up like every half hour,now i'm ready to sleep.I probably will have a nap when I go home seeing as i'm off Monday and Tuesday. YAY :) Uggh..This stupid girl just came in and started making a big deal about the prices. I've gotten to the point where I couldn't really give two shits about these people anymore. They bitch and moan about the most stupid things.It's like, hey, look at the fricking menu before you order in a place,so that you can know if you have enough money or not.Stop assuming that you know the prices and then acting like its my fault when you find out how much it really is. Plus, if I was the one that made up the prices,I'm pretty sure the last place I would be is here.Uggh..I don't care,she looked like a meth head and she smelled. Hehehe, it seems like the RIDE program is in full effect today.Cops are pulling people over left right and center.There is like two cop cars and a van all just for 1 car.I guess its because they just did a report where they found out that a lot of people are still drunk from the night before. They might have went home and slept or whatever,but they are still intoxicated. Whateves. Just as long as they keep the streets safe for all us. Uggh.. here comes more bastards..seriously..haven't these people ever heard of cooking ?? Well, can't complain.I'll just milk them dry because their laziness is keeping me employed in this glorious field.

Finally, I get a new work out buddy

2007-11-07T16:11:00.002-05:00

Ever since Adam started doing his own thing,I stopped doing the stairs.I lost my work-out partner and my motivation. I tried going with Jay, but when we go he's like ten miles ahead of me and I am still huffing and puffing below like 'don't wait up for me you bastard'.. Now i've noticed that i've started becoming pretty chubby,so I'm working at it again. I didn't want to go alone, well because, face it, it sucks to do things like this alone. Plus, you know, there is the fact that I am so adorable, and might get molested if I go by myself hahaha. I have found a new partner (Anne Marie) and she is absolutely hilarious.She's awesome to because when I start getting into my 'eff it,I don't want to do this any more' she gives me the kick in the ass I need.I think she is fit, but I guess she wants to like tone up or something. So, off we went to do the stairs today.She's very organized though.She times it and everything. Me, I just count how many times I make it to the top without passing out.lol.It was so fun though.

Tobias Menzies will not be Spock, the dude from Heroes will..

2007-11-01T14:01:00.001-04:00

There was some talk a while ago that Tobias Menzies was going to be playing Spock in the next Star Trek movie.Well, they gave the position to Zachary Quinto (aka the bad guy from Heroes). First of all, I most confess,I didn't really give two craps.I knew I wasn't going to watch it.I mean I like Tobias Menzies, but I am not one of "those" fans.You know, the fans that watch absolutely everything that they are in,even if it is crap and hound them for autographs and that.I'd rather watch things I am going to enjoy their performance in.Don't get me wrong.There is absolutely nothing wrong with those fans that ask for autographs etc.I mean, it's all up to preference right ? To be honest, I would not ever have the balls to ask for an autograph.I think I would find it really really embarrassing and awkward. And what the hell would I do with it after ? LOL, plus, I think if I ever met someone that I liked,I would probably be thinking "hmm.. Tobias, you know, I wouldn't tell anyone if you chose to sleep with me..it'd be our little secret". mwahahahaha. I'm such a pyschosomatic skank. Anywhose , I felt that Tobias' talents would be wasted in another Star Trek flick. Much better to use it in the next Bond.Mmeeeoooww..

Holy crap did you see him as Villiers ?? I wanted to suck face with him, even after he threw up a little in his mouth after seeing that brown chick all dead and shit in the hammock. Ok, well maybe after some Listerine.But so far he has chosen some pretty good projects to be involved in, so its good to see he's not one of those money hungry whores who take the first project handed to them. He is an artiste.I dig it..I dig it..

P.S. Maybe it is the whole Sylar thing..but that guy gives me the creeps.

In a semi related story, I had the weirdest run in with this "Star wars geek" (as I have dubbed him) a while back.He comes into my work all the time, and he seems really shy.Everytime I see him he is always by himself.This one day I decided to be nice to him, so I tried to make conversation.He had a pin on his shirt that looked kind of like an Acura logo.I'm like "is that from star wars ?". No word of a lie, he snatches his bag and says "It's Star Trek !' and storms off. I am standing there bewildered looking at Nikki like "What the hell just happened ??" In all honesty I did mean Star Trek, but it came out wrong and I said Star Wars instead.At least I didn't say "hey, do you work for Acura or something".

I didn't realize that they are so sensitive about it though.I mean when this other guy came in the store with his little ponytail and told me that he was a Jedi, I said "Cool, is that like hinduism or something, ying and yang stuff ?"He was not offended.He actually stood there and explained all their beliefs to me. It was actually really interesting.But this guy, he was really mad.

I seriously need to think before I speak though.. And..you know, stay away from those Star Wars/Trek conventions.I can't help it if I get them confused.

A Brief Music Interlude : Elsiane - Vaporous

2007-10-31T16:15:00.000-04:00

SUNNY DAY,PLEASE GO AWAY

2007-10-04T23:58:00.001-04:00

I hate sunny days.Especially when I have to work and the air conditioner is broken and I am like FOOOCCCKKKK.And of course every stupid person that comes in the store has to comment on "how hot it is" or "omg, don't you find it hot in here ?" It's like NOOOOO, I get sexually excited by profusely sweating all over your food.Of course I find it hot as well you dumb fock ! I'll indulge the first few people that comment on it with an explanation that the air conditioner is broken and yes i do find it hot, but the more people ask me, the more ruder I get and the responses get shorter until it seems as if I am ignoring them (which,I am btw).I don't do well under heat.I hate sweating, and I hate the way people smell when they sweat.Like they've been showering in egg whites and ham.It's like, can't you smell yourself ??? Plus, when i'm over heated,I get irritated easily.Don't any of you feel the same ? Gahhh...I'm just in a bad mood...This week has been pretty shit.

Quote of The Day : Tupac Shakur

2007-09-12T23:51:00.001-04:00

"You know it's funny,

when it rains it pours,

They got money for wars,

but can't feed the poor."

~Tupac Shakur, Keep Ya Head Up (song)

The Painted Veil Soundtrack

2007-08-29T15:05:00.000-04:00

I really loved this movie,so it seemed fitting that I also loved the soundtrack. Composed by Alexandre Desplat, with performer Lang Lang. Here are a few of the songs I like on the cd. Also, i've included the film's version of "A La Claire Fontaine", which is NOT on the cd.Why it isn't on the cd is beyond me.It is the best song from the movie.I know a lot of people were inquiring about it. Enjoy~

The Painted Veil 5/5

2007-08-08T21:08:00.001-04:00

I must say,I love Edward Norton.He is such a great actor.Actually I liked all of the cast in this.Naomi and Liev were great.I'm such a girl, but I liked this movie a lot. I'm now interested in buying the novel its based on.It's a great story and so pretty to look at.But you know me..look at my infatuation with North & South.I seem to have a thing for stories where people seem to hate each other at first,and then eventually fall in love ~

The Last Legion 4/5

2007-08-08T20:00:00.002-04:00

Starring:

Thomas Sangster, Sir Ben Kingsley, Colin Firth, Aishwarya Rai, Kevin McKidd, John Hannah,
Rupert Friend, Nonso Anozie, Owen Teale, Harry Van Gorkum, Peter Mullan, Iain Glen

I really liked this movie.The acting was great, amazing cast.It is such a great perspective on the Arthurian legend.My only downers were #1. The special effects were a little poor.Some scenes you could really really tell that they were CGI.My other negative is not really that big of a deal but it is bothersome.I am sick and tired of Aishwarya Rai doing these "western" films and refusing to kiss.

Quick Post --> A few people of half Italian & half Indian descent

2007-08-03T23:49:00.007-04:00

Name: Dino Morea

D.O.B: December 9, 1975

P.O.B.: Bangalore, India

Occupation: Model and Actor.

Heritage: Italian father and an Indian mother

Name: James "Jimmi" Harkishin
D.O.B: March 1965
P.O.B.:Paris, France
Occupation: Actor
Heritage: Indian father and Italian mother

* best known for his role as Dev on Coronation Street.

Name: Priyanka Gandhi

D.O.B: January 12, 1972

P.O.B.:Delhi, India

Occupation: Politician

Heritage: Indian father, Italian mother (Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi)

Name: Rahul Gandhi
D.O.B: June 19th 1970
P.O.B.:Delhi, India
Occupation: Politician
Heritage: Indian father, Italian mother (Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi)

*brother of Priyanka Gandhi

Hulk 2 is being filmed close to my work...

2007-07-26T21:41:00.001-04:00

Ok,so if I wanted to be technical,I would have said "next door", but it's more like down the street. Apparentely Edward Norton,Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt are in it. I like them,I think that they are all great actors,but I think i'm going to skip this one. I mean the first one was shit. I tried watching it twice just to give it a fair chance.Both times I fell asleep. I was talking to a few people about it,and they were blaming it on the actors. I hate when people blame actors solely for the failure of a project.There are so many contributing factors for a film failing and its not always the actors.A lot of them just work with what they have been given.But in the case of the first Hulk, I mean, you cannot blame it on the actors.The actors were great (Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelley). The story was really boring.I don't know.I have never really been a fan of the Hulk.I think I will just wait for the next Batman film instead.I think that is what they are hoping for.To get the same success as Batman Begins did.As for Edward Norton as the Hulk. Give him a chance.I am sure that he can do it.I mean, they made Jessica Alba white for Fantastic Four,right ? I repeat.I am sure that he can do it. I just hope that they are done soon, because I am tired of making a kazillion sandwiches for them on demand because they take all of my wheat bread..grr..It makes me think.. their caterers must be shit.Oh well, hopefully I will get to snatch a glance at Edward.Yeah right, I probably will be like "I know him from somewhere ..but I dunno where" just like I was when I saw Jason Alexander at Canada's Wonderland.

Tideland 1/5

2007-07-25T22:20:00.001-04:00

Ok, maybe I am rating this film so low because for some reason I thought that it would be like Pan's Labyrinth,maybe not.I was BORED.I don't care how artsy some may try to say this movie is supposed to be or whatever, but in my books, a movie's #1 purpose is to entertain me.I was not entertained, and not impressed. The only thing that did impress me was Jodelle Ferland's acting. She is going to be big one day.

Too Wong Foo,Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar 5/5

2007-07-25T21:43:00.001-04:00

I love this movie ! It is such a classic movie for me.This is one of those films that leave me feeling happy and empowered as a female,which is pretty funny cause it starred 3 guys.Gotta love John Leguizamo in those little pum-pum shorts.Mind you, no offence to Wesley Snipes,I am sure that he is nice, but god, does he make an ooglie woman.

~ Sick Day ~

2007-07-15T10:04:00.001-04:00

Ugghh...I feel like shit.... I was supposed to work the afternoon shift tonight, but I don't think I can make it.I called in sick at like 7:30 this morning.Well, my shift didn't start until 4:00 pm, but I figured that the earlier, the better.Especially since my boss has this thing of "why don't you call in the night before you take a sick day ??".I'm always like "ummm... because I may wake up and feel Eh-Ok."I haven't been feeling so hot lately.Yesterday was the worst because it was a football game and it was so frigging busy.I just figured, I'll call in sick and if my boss gives me a hard time and tries to fire me, I am DONE.Adios.I've had all I can take with that place. I'm just gonna make myself a comfy spot, lay down, and watch some tv in between my cat-naps.

Holy Shit ! Are they bringing back Carnivale ???

2007-07-04T23:20:00.001-04:00

I have been seeing a lot of these reports on quite a few sites. OMG I really hope they are. It was such a good show ! Ugghh, can't believe HBO cut this show short to keep on all the bullshit that is on there. It was such a good story ! They said basically how the story was show was slow... umm they were the ones that asked for it to be slowed down and taken back. The original concept for the storyline was much more progressive , but apparentely HBO told the writers to go back and explain everything and spread it out because they wanted it for at least 6 seasons. Bastards... now I will never know what happens... GRRRR.. I wonder what all the actors are up to, especially the supporting cast. I've seen a few of them here and there. I saw some movie where Michael J. Anderson was an elf or dwarf or something.. Clancy Brown was also in it.. I want to say Snow White, but i'm not sure and i'm too tired to look it all up now. I saw Cynthia Ettinger and Tim DeKay on Without A Trace and I realized that Clancy also does the voice for gonta in Pom Poko...Please HBO... bring back my show, to give me closure. LOL. I know I have called you guys bad names... but in all fairness, you took off one of my favourite shows from tv.. Ugghh.. how I will miss seeing Nick Stahl in a role where he wasn't a creep/rapist/weirdo..

I hate taking the bus on rainy days....

2007-07-04T22:29:00.003-04:00

So everyone knows how much of a big fan I am of rain.I love rain and I prefer it so much more than sunny days.There is only one thing that ruins my love for rainy days.And that is taking the bus on rainy days.I swear, everyone smells like B.O. and wet dog. There are a few that smell like me. You know, when you wear perfume, for some reason when your clothes get wet, the smell of the perfume just stands out even more. So, despite being soaked, at least you smell good. I sound like a huge bitch. I am sorry. I know that with some people it can't be helped, but it is just a peeve of mine.At least on my way back from the mall,I got on a *gasp* empty bus :) Which, trust me, is pretty rare on a rainy day.Maybe it is because the bastards raised the price of bus fare. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is no longer $2.10 to take the bus, but $2.25. Oh well, as long as I am not waiting like a jackass for and hour for a bus,I will be happy.

Kevin McKidd in a new show

2007-06-28T21:05:00.000-04:00

Wow,Kevin McKidd has a new show called Journeyman.According to IMDB it is about "A man travels back in time to help people in trouble." I don't know if it just me but it sounds a bit too much like that Stephen King show..I think it's called The Dead Zone.I will watch it though and give it a try because I think Kevin McKidd is a really really good actor.I hope it's good *fingers crossed*

Quote of The Day : Demades

2007-06-25T01:00:00.002-04:00

"Modesty is the citadel of beauty. "
~Demades

So,I will never get an iphone :(

2007-06-23T22:06:00.001-04:00

I need a new cell phone...again.As much as I am lusting after an iphone,I know I would never ever be able to have it.Minus the fact that I am always cash poor these days.I am honest with myself, and truth be told, I am a little clumsy.OK, so I am VERY clumsy.I swear,I have found brand new ways to destroy things or hurt myself.Like a couple months ago, when I dropped hot wax on my hands and I needed to go to the ER to have my skin peeled off. I threw the tub of wax on the table as my initial reaction.All over my new cellphone.YAY. But as far as electronics go.Forget it.Especially cellphones.Mind you,it is not always my fault.I blame my cats a lot of times.Like when I leave my phone either on my desk, or on the tv stand or on the kitchen table, one will knock it down and they will start playing "hockey" with my phone being the puck, all over the hardwood floor.And when I walk through the door and hear a *crunch* in the dark, before I even look down,I know exactly what it is. So needless to say. This is probably the closest that I will ever get to an iphone.

Halou - Wiser

2007-06-22T15:47:00.001-04:00

I didn't like Halou at first.I thought the singer sounded off key.It grew on me though, and I really began to love it. Wiser is the frst cd i've ever heard by Halou and on it is my favourite song by them "Him To Me To You"."I'll Carry You" is my second favourite.Give Halou a try.They are not a well known band, but they are pretty good ~

Quote of the Day courtesy of Maya Angelou

2007-06-14T16:17:00.002-04:00

Bitterness is like cancer.

It eats upon the host.

But anger is like fire.

It burns it all clean.

~Maya Angelou (US author & poet)

I TOTALLY JUST LIED :(

2007-06-13T03:51:00.001-04:00

The nicest lady always comes into my work.She is a nurse and she knows all about the whole baby situation.She has been really helpful,offering to teach me, giving me baby literature etc.She asked me how everything was going with dealing with the baby.I told her that I haven't been approved yet,so I don't have her.I feel like such a shithead for lying to her.I feel so bad,cause she is so nice.But to be honest,I didn't really feel like going into detail and telling her how fucked up my family is.Since the whole money situation, everyone's opinion of my family has been 0 and now this baby situation has pushed that down to negative ten kazillion.I feel embarrassed to be associating with them. Fuck. Times like this,I wish I was an orphan.Then i'd have less knives stuck in my back. No wonder I can only sleep on my stomach.

Word of the Day : Profiterole

2007-06-04T00:38:00.001-04:00

Pronunciation: pr&-'fi-t&-"rOl
Function: noun
Etymology: French, perhaps from profit profit
: a miniature cream puff with a sweet or savory filling

This word popped up randomly in my head today, and I had to look it up to find out what it was. I dunno, they sound like little round cannolis to me, and i'm not a big fan of cannolis at all.I have no idea where I heard this word before...

He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven (My absolute favourite) By W.B. Yeats

2007-05-23T04:13:00.000-04:00

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Excited :)

2007-05-23T01:57:00.001-04:00

My brother is out now and I am so excited ! We are all going to be one big happy family. I hope my brother learns a lesson from this.Hahah, now I have a reason to cook.I think i'm going to surprise them with a trip.We could go to Montreal or something.After this ordeal,God knows we all need a vacation. I can't wait for Holly to be here too. I think we will get along.I've always taken care of my brother,ever since we were little.I'm not going to give up on him now.People can change.They just have to want to change.I'm going to see if I can help him find steady work.He has his eyes on this construction/reno job.I know so many people that work in this field(Josh,Tony,Roger etc).The one thing they all tell me is that the job is really fickle.Especially the reno jobs.It's all seasonal.I don't want him falling into his old lifestyle of selling some drugs just to make a quick dollar.And I am sure when he's got a wife and a baby to look after,the stress will multiply.That is why we are helping them. It's such a messed up situation.I told him that until he gets full time employment I can pay for his stuff.I worked extra hours this week so that I can buy him his work stuff and clothes etc. I want so much for this to work out.The social worker came by again.I had told my brother to go out for a couple of hours until I find out from her if it's okay for him to be there,because I knew she had raised concerns about that when I asked her about it the last time she was over.She came early and he was there,so I did what I could.i told her as soon as I opened the door that my brother had gotten out and that he was here,if that was alright.She said it was,so it all worked out.She asked a lot of questions.mainly about if I would have a problem with him staying here,I said no.She needed assurance for the baby's sake that if anything went wrong with him,that I would not have any issues (because he is my brother) kicking him out.I said I would kick him out if things went wrong,but I am not expecting for them to go wrong.He seems to want to help himself and his child.I told him that he could stay with me as long as he needed.If he wants to inolve my mom,that is up to him.After all,it is his life and his child.I will just be her guardian on paper only.I understand why children's aid are being so hard on me though,with all my constant checks and paperwork.They just want to make sure that I will not go soft on him because he is my brother,thus endangering the baby if it is a bad situation.My dad is happy for us,but he keeps warning me that it may fall through.I know,I get my hopes up a lot and sometimes I need a reminder that people,no matter how good you may think of them,can surprise you.Plus he keeps telling me that I am young,and that a child is a serious commitment.I didn't want to do this at first,but as time went on and no one else would help,I thought well,why not.It's my brother.It is his little family.I want to see all sides happy.We are all planning a trip to Trinidad in November so that we can see everyone.Gonna be great :)

Summer Rescue Treatments for Skin & Hair

2007-05-21T10:27:00.001-04:00

After such a hot summer, most of you out there are probably starting to regret spending those days submerged in chlorine infested water...Your skin feels flaky or tight and your hair is coarse and breaking...You are filled with bittersweet emotions...and seriously rethinking sipping those Bellini's poolside again next year...Well, do not fret...I have just the thing you need...for your hair and your skin...So, do this treatment, pour yourself a drink,lay back and reminisce about the good times you and your friends had this summer...

HAIR :

1 egg
1/8 cup olive oil(one eggshell full)
1/4 peeled cucumber
Blend the egg, olive oil and peeled cucumber in a blender or food processor. Spread evenly through your hair, leave on for 10 minutes, then thoroughly rinse. For the best results year-round, continue this treatment monthly

SKIN:

1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil (olive,coconut,almond etc)
small amounts of aloe vera gel, vitamin C crystals, or anything healing that dissolves in water
1 or two drops of essential oil if desired
Combine the ingredients in a bowl. Scoop some of the scrub onto your hand and massage gently onto your skin for a minute (the scrub will actually tighten onto your skin like a masque). Leave on for 3 to 4 minutes before rinsing

THE VIRGIN QUEEN 5/5

2007-05-21T07:12:00.001-04:00

I know that this is a period piece,but watching it,I felt it was done in such a modern way.Especially the story telling.I love the fact that they show Elizabeth both as a person,and a monarch.I love how they focus especially on her relationship with Robert Dudley.I feel bad for him, I think he really loved her,and not her crown.Everything about this mini series captivated me scene by scene.The music,the story,the acting (Anne-Marie Duff deserves an award for this part,just as much as Helen Mirren got for portraying the other Elizabeth !). If you are in to this genre,I highly reccomend The Virgin Queen :) This definitely is a "history movie" done right !

300 5/5

2007-05-08T21:18:00.001-04:00

This movie was wicked ! I read the graphic novel a while ago and ever since then I have been obsessed with Frank Miller's work.After I was so disappointed by Sin City, this film was refreshing !And Michael Fassbender... A+++++

Just a little tidbit:
Queen Gorgo actually used this line (according to Plutarch)
(From Wikipedia)
Plutarch quotes Queen Gorgo as follows: "When asked by a woman from Attica, 'Why are you Spartan women the only ones who can rule men?', she said: 'Because we are also the only ones who give birth to men.'" Another version has this as, "...some foreign lady, as it would seem, told her that the women of Lacedaemon were the only women in the world who could rule men; 'With good reason,' she said, 'for we are the only women who bring forth men.'"

Do your boobs hang low,do they wobble to and fro,do you tie them in a knot,do you tie them in a bow,do you throw them over your shoulder la la la la

2007-05-08T09:44:00.000-04:00

Ok,so I don't know if many of you people realize this.Ladies know exactly what I am talking about.Real breasts, when they get big,go with gravity,they don't stand straight upright like Christina's and they aren't under your neck like Lindsay Lohan.They are soft and smoochy and sometimes nicknamed "love pillows" hehehe.If you are tired of always wearing a bra (I know I am),you might want to give these a try.

To help firm breasts & tighten the skin:

Mix 1 tsp vitamin E oil
1 T. yogurt
1 egg.

Massage this mixture into breasts and
wear an old bra over the mixture for at least twenty minutes.
Rinse off with warm water.

Or,If you are naive like me that some sort of topical solution will work, just try working out with some of these:

Flat Chest Press

Lie faceup on a bench with a dumbbell in each hand, your wrists should be in a neutral position, palms facing forward, elbows bent 90 degrees and held out to the sides parallel with shoulders. Exhale as you extend your arms toward the ceiling with knuckles facing up, being careful not to touch the weights together, and squeezing your pectoral (chest) muscles at the top of the movement. Inhale as you return to starting position.

Push-Up

Lie facedown on the floor with your hands under you shoulders. Your feet should be about shoulder-width apart, with your toes tucked under so that you are balancing on the balls of your feet. Contract your abdominals so your back is parallel to the floor. Keep your head and neck in line with your spine. Inhale as you lower your chest as close to the floor as possible. Exhale as you return to starting position.

Incline Chest Press

This exercise is similar to the flat chest press, but you do it on a 45-degree incline, which will recruit different muscle fibers. Lie faceup on an incline bench with a dumbbell in each hand, palms facing forward, elbows bent 90 degrees and held out to the sides parallel with shoulders. Exhale as you extend your arms toward the ceiling with knuckles facing up, being careful not to touch the weights together, and squeezing your pectoral (chest) muscles at the top of the movement. Inhale as you return to starting position.

Cable Crossover

Stand in the center of a cable tower, feet hip-width apart, one foot slightly in front of the other. Grab the horseshoe handle of a cable at the top of each end of the machine in each hand, palms facing down and slightly forward, arms at shoulder level. Contract your abdominals, lean slightly forward from your hips, and relax your knees. Keeping a slight bend in your elbows, exhale as you pull the handles down in front of you until your hands come together, hold briefly. Inhale as you slowly return to starting position.

Source

THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO EEEKK!!

2007-05-03T07:12:00.001-04:00

Exhibit A: Needles:

Needles scare the crap out of me ! I remember when they were checking me for anemia,they had to take blood.I was by myself and I thought I would pass out for sure.I dunno what was scarier,the ginormous needle with the huge hole in the center or watching the blood pass into the tube as it was being extracted.I was having mad cold sweats ! I don't care how brave I am,I melt when I see a needle.I thing what made it so traumatic was that when I was in middle school,we had these nurses come to our school to do our needles for Hepatitis.Some of them were so rude.. The one I had one year (because it was a series of shots) just grabbed my arm (which at that time was really skinny to begin with) and just slammed the needle in.She slammed it in so hard that it broke in my arm and they had to fish it out with tweezers,and yes I was traumatized. So nurses,please,no matter how bitchy you are,please curb your feelings and temperment when you are immunizing children..actually anyone,for that matter..And yes...I cringed from that part in Saw 2 when the guy threw the girl in the vat of needles..So much so,that I stopped watching it after that scene..But I didn't really cringe that much because I have this annoying habit that I guess the ending of the movie before it happens,and I guessed that she was bad,so I was all like "Good"...And everyone who saw the movie confirmed it that she was bad..but still...eeekkk

Exhibit B: Spiders

Spiders freak me out !!!!! *shudders*....mind you my first thought is "Squash that mofo!!!!" and i'll try to hit it with whatever I can find.I remember when I was little in Trinidad (where we have a wide variety of spiders,the queen being The Black Widow) there was an abundance of black house spiders at my grandmother Flor's house.Ugghh...They used to scare me so much that I would sleep the whole night with this heavy heavy blanket and my dad used to tell me "Jamie,you shouldn't sleep with that blanket on your head,you'll stiffle"... And in your little kid mind, you see death by suffocation to be better than death by demon spider...Ugghh...This is another gross story with spiders..When we were kids,me and my cousins Emily and Neisha would like to go and play in the forest..On day while running out of the forest we saw we were covered in spiders.I guess they were on the leaves that we were brushing up against and they must have transferred onto our clothes...So there was all of us stripping down naked because we were scared they had gotten all in our clothes..And yes,I admit..I went more than eek at that moment...

Exhibit C: Scorpions

I was making the bed one day at my Auntie Sugie's house,and I felt a pin prick on my foot.. I don't know why but I looked under the bed after i saw that my foot was bleeding and I saw a little silver scorpion..The bastard had bit me...so I smooshed his ass with a tub of Vaseline. My aunt had to rush me to the hospital,where they gave me something that tasted like cough syrup and a huge gigantor needle right in the ass,as if I wasn't traumatized enough..They had to have like four people hold me down.Even to this day,when it rains,that spot on my foot hurts,for some weird reason..

Exhibit D: Heights

I am not terrified of heights,but you wouldn't see me volunteering to be like a skydiver or something...I don't like rollercoasters and that,and especially when I go to places like Wonderland and that,I always am the "carry-everyone's-stuff-while-they-go-on-a-ride" one.I can bear it,God,even Lori Anne peer pressured me to go on the Top Gun ride.And I remember going on the ride "The Bat" And initially it went over three loops and stopped..and I was like ok,not so bad..but before I could say that,they wooshed me backwards in the circles again... And worst of all they take a picture of you in the process as some weird S&M keepsake or something..It's like "yes, this is me making some unorthodoxed face while crapping my pants on this ride.Masterpiece,I know"...

PROVING JUST HOW BORING MY LIFE IS OF LATE ~

2007-04-20T06:13:00.002-04:00

The most exciting thing I did this week was change my Rogers Pay As You Go plan.It was costing me too much,especially after one phone call,I would need to load up my phone again.So I was like meh,screw it,i'll change it.Now it's $0.25 for the first minute and $0.15 after that. Much better than the straight $0.33 cents a minute I was paying.

I have been dying for this phone for months now.I keep seeing the unlocked ones on Ebay.I was just not willing to pay the $400.00

It's a Hantel DV3.I know it's really masculine looking but I still like it.It's super functional ! The camera has 6 megapixels.You can play music,text,record audio and video,and oh yeah...You can make calls too...lol..

GODMOTHER ALERT: BABY NAMES

2007-04-12T03:18:00.002-04:00

So,I was talking to my brother today about baby names.He was saying that basically he and Holly have come down to two names:

If it is a girl:

Selena

If it is a boy:

Christian

Well,that is if they stick with it.The baby is due in a couple of weeks so who knows if they might change their mind or whatever.I think they are nice names, but I wish we knew if it is a boy or a girl.I am totally excited.A bit nervous,but things should be cool. I can't believe my brother is going to be a dad ! Time goes by so fast...It seems just yesterday,that we were kids ourselves,playing Barbie and GI Joe tea party...

CLOWNS FREAK ME OUT....

2007-04-12T03:03:00.002-04:00

I don't care how cutesy people try to make them,They freak me out...

I was even wary of those clowns on that one kids show... with Molly and her dolly..can't remember the name of the show...

Even Ronald McDonald creeps me out...

I think it's cause I have this prejudice that behind the make-up and balloons lies a pedophile...

Which is totally unfair,I know,but that doesn't change the fact that they freak me out !

Rach Reccomends : Bangkok Girl

2007-04-02T22:39:00.004-04:00

This was such a great,sad documentary.The story follows a girl named Pla,a barmaid. After watching this though.I needed a shower. I felt sick. Watching these guys shop for girls as if they were shopping for socks. And the way they treat them and the way they view them.. disgusting.Kinda sad for them that they go so far just to get a girlfriend when most people just go to their neighbourhood bar lol.I guess though, most have that taste for underage or young girls that would not look twice at them in our neighbourhoods... cause you know..then we arrest them and call them pedophiles. I heard that Thailand is heaven for pedophiles.I knew I never would want to go to Thailand after hearing about all the corruption and after watching Brokedown Palace (lol). After seeing this though.. I would love to go down with 50,000 stormtroopers and reform the country. It's unfortunate that such a beautiful looking country can be marred by such a filthy reputation.

SPOILER:

It is really sad, because the girl at the begining of the video,Pla, was murdered after the filming of this video.

THE WEDGE A.K.A. THE ONLY REASON TO WATCH MUCHMUSIC

2007-03-30T17:14:00.001-04:00

I'm serious.MuchMusic was so much better way back in the day.Now their VJ's are just plain annoying (with the exception of Hannah Sung and Sarah Taylor).Actually the blonde guy isn't too bad, Devon or something like that.But that is where I draw the line.The rest are annoying.I used to love Master T,Sook-yin,Bill and George...but sadly those days are gone..(shed a tear)..And before they played all different kinds of music,but since they split up the genres, it seems they just stick to the same playlists.But thanks to The Wedge,people can find new stuff, underground stuff and just plain cool stuff. The stuff that should be played more, but instead it is either Avril Lavigne or some band that sounds like Nickelback.And my god,if I see that fricking "Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani one more time...But Muchmusic is known for doing that to songs that you initially like and then loathe with their back to back repetitions of the video.Anyone remember "Yellow" by Coldplay ?

You Are The One - Shiny Toy Guns

This song goes out to all the Tobias Menzies fans out there.If you still have no idea who he is check out his profile on IMDB. He has quite a body of diverse work,so I am sure there is something in there for everyone :)You will not be disappointed,I promise.

Winter Hair Rescue

2007-03-27T10:12:00.001-04:00

For Flat Hair:

1 (8 ounce) can beer (Not light beer)
1/4 cup water
1/4 tablespoon lemon juice or lime juice,

Mix everything together into a spray bottle. Spray/mist onto hair. Wait for hair to dry. Style as usual.

Frizzy Hair:

2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 tablespoon sunflower oil

Mix all these together.
Spread on your hair.
Pass a comb through so as to evenly distribute it.
Keep this on for 1 hour.
Rinse off with warm water first and then with cold water.
Do this at least twice a week to see a gradual change in the texture of your hair.

Dandruff:

Massage your hair with warm coconut oil and apply the juice of 2 lemons, steam your hair and leave the oil on for about 2 hours. Shampoo with a mild shampoo. Repeat 2-3 times a week. OR after washing and conditioning your hair, rinse your hair with lemon juice.