Well, so much has happened since I really posted anything about life. In the space of almost a year, Jay and I have broken up, (almost to the point of divorce), gotten back together and now we have bought our first home.

Break-Up,Make-Up:

Well, we have decided to work things out and work on our problems. Trust me, those can definitely accumulate when you have been together for so long ! So far, its going, you know, taking it one day at a time. We do not know how to deal when it comes to things like stress, so it is not always smooth sailing. I think what is important to us, is at the end of the day we do realize that what we have is worth working at and worth keeping. It will never be perfect, but hey, neither are we, by a longshot !

New House:

We basically bought a house from a friend, and it basically turned ugly, really fast. He thought that we would be new first home owner suckers, and of course we were too trusting in thinking that since he was a friend, he would be honest. Nope. All the work that was supposed to be done on his end was not and what was done was done incorrectly and really badly. It has put back our renovation plans very far behind. I wanted to legally see what could be done, since these things were in our agreement, but Jay does not want any drama,so we have been scrapping alot about that. Especially when we don't have money coming out of our ass to keep fixing/replacing things that should have been done. The first floor living room and dining room flooring alone cost us $1550, but we had to replace it because our "friend' it seemed never cleaned it (in the 20 years he owned the house) until an hour before we moved in and he must have let the dog pee everywhere because the house stunk of dog and piss. Then we saw how basically everything was done incorrectly, from the plumbing, to the electrical, to the painting, patching, cleaning everything. I was so not impressed because I have left apartments in better condition than this guy left this house. Then he threatened to sue us in the end for harrassment ! So, yes, it has been something all right. ..grr I need a subject change.. fast

Selena:



I think my brother has completely forgotten about his daughter, she is permanentely at my mom's house now and at my house from like 6 to 5, Monday to Friday. My mom wants to roast Children's Aid on a spit (long story). My brother had a huge fight with me the other day telling me that I had no right to have any opinion on anything to do with his child and that I should mind my own business etc.. the usual loveliness.. Of course that set me off like a fricking atom bomb and it almost turned into a fist fight. I think the icing on the cake was when he told me that I was a bad mother for yelling at him infront of my son. After all that idiot has said and done to me, it is me that is raising his child on a daily basis. She wakes up, I give her breakfast and lunch, I bathe her, dress her, do her hair, play with her, read to her. Man, sometimes I swear I have more patience with her than I do with Kaius, and that makes me feel horrible because I feel like I am always shafting Kaius because by the time I am done with Selena, I am really too exhausted to do things with him, because she is quite a handful. I think what makes things worse is how I watch her observing our family and the way it functions, and how much she so longs to be a part of it. She even turns to Jay and I many times and says "I want to stay here, I want to live with you and be Kaius' sister" That just breaks my heart.. and makes me want to break Danny's legs. It pisses me off too because its like everyone makes excuses for him.. "oh he's so f'd up because blah blah blah". I mean when is that going to end and when will it be about his child ? So yes, damn straight I freak out when he tells me to mind my own business and that it isn't any of mine, he made it my business when they dumped the child off like garbage. Poor kid really drew the short straw when it came to parents..

Last but not least, Kaius !!





He is getting big and he is so smart. He's not really much of a talker, but he knows how to do it. he is starting to learn how to use the potty and he is loving it so much. If I put body wash on each part he knows how to wash them and brush his teeth. He walks, runs, jumps on the bed. His favourite show right now is The Night Garden. He is on Toddler formula mixed with homo milk and his favourite food has got to be the Mac and Cheese at Ikea.. well cheese in general. He loves Babybel's which costs me an arm and a leg on groceries, but its healthy and he loves it,so I am not complaining. He still does that thing with the pillow where he goes and gets one from his room or a cushion and he will bring it back to whatever room I am in, put it down on the floor and go to sleep. So many days I am doing dishes and I turn around and there he is, sound asleep on the mat. He and Jay were a bit weird for a while, because of the break-up we had, he was very awkward around Jay. Now he is getting much more comfortable and opening up.

Well hopefully I get a chance to write up a more coherent blog post !

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