Well, so much has happened since I really posted anything about life. In the space of almost a year, Jay and I have broken up, (almost to the point of divorce), gotten back together and now we have bought our first home.


Well, we have decided to work things out and work on our problems. Trust me, those can definitely accumulate when you have been together for so long ! So far, its going, you know, taking it one day at a time. We do not know how to deal when it comes to things like stress, so it is not always smooth sailing. I think what is important to us, is at the end of the day we do realize that what we have is worth working at and worth keeping. It will never be perfect, but hey, neither are we, by a longshot !

New House:

We basically bought a house from a friend, and it basically turned ugly, really fast. He thought that we would be new first home owner suckers, and of course we were too trusting in thinking that since he was a friend, he would be honest. Nope. All the work that was supposed to be done on his end was not and what was done was done incorrectly and really badly. It has put back our renovation plans very far behind. I wanted to legally see what could be done, since these things were in our agreement, but Jay does not want any drama,so we have been scrapping alot about that. Especially when we don't have money coming out of our ass to keep fixing/replacing things that should have been done. The first floor living room and dining room flooring alone cost us $1550, but we had to replace it because our "friend' it seemed never cleaned it (in the 20 years he owned the house) until an hour before we moved in and he must have let the dog pee everywhere because the house stunk of dog and piss. Then we saw how basically everything was done incorrectly, from the plumbing, to the electrical, to the painting, patching, cleaning everything. I was so not impressed because I have left apartments in better condition than this guy left this house. Then he threatened to sue us in the end for harrassment ! So, yes, it has been something all right. ..grr I need a subject change.. fast


I think my brother has completely forgotten about his daughter, she is permanentely at my mom's house now and at my house from like 6 to 5, Monday to Friday. My mom wants to roast Children's Aid on a spit (long story). My brother had a huge fight with me the other day telling me that I had no right to have any opinion on anything to do with his child and that I should mind my own business etc.. the usual loveliness.. Of course that set me off like a fricking atom bomb and it almost turned into a fist fight. I think the icing on the cake was when he told me that I was a bad mother for yelling at him infront of my son. After all that idiot has said and done to me, it is me that is raising his child on a daily basis. She wakes up, I give her breakfast and lunch, I bathe her, dress her, do her hair, play with her, read to her. Man, sometimes I swear I have more patience with her than I do with Kaius, and that makes me feel horrible because I feel like I am always shafting Kaius because by the time I am done with Selena, I am really too exhausted to do things with him, because she is quite a handful. I think what makes things worse is how I watch her observing our family and the way it functions, and how much she so longs to be a part of it. She even turns to Jay and I many times and says "I want to stay here, I want to live with you and be Kaius' sister" That just breaks my heart.. and makes me want to break Danny's legs. It pisses me off too because its like everyone makes excuses for him.. "oh he's so f'd up because blah blah blah". I mean when is that going to end and when will it be about his child ? So yes, damn straight I freak out when he tells me to mind my own business and that it isn't any of mine, he made it my business when they dumped the child off like garbage. Poor kid really drew the short straw when it came to parents..

Last but not least, Kaius !!

He is getting big and he is so smart. He's not really much of a talker, but he knows how to do it. he is starting to learn how to use the potty and he is loving it so much. If I put body wash on each part he knows how to wash them and brush his teeth. He walks, runs, jumps on the bed. His favourite show right now is The Night Garden. He is on Toddler formula mixed with homo milk and his favourite food has got to be the Mac and Cheese at Ikea.. well cheese in general. He loves Babybel's which costs me an arm and a leg on groceries, but its healthy and he loves it,so I am not complaining. He still does that thing with the pillow where he goes and gets one from his room or a cushion and he will bring it back to whatever room I am in, put it down on the floor and go to sleep. So many days I am doing dishes and I turn around and there he is, sound asleep on the mat. He and Jay were a bit weird for a while, because of the break-up we had, he was very awkward around Jay. Now he is getting much more comfortable and opening up.

Well hopefully I get a chance to write up a more coherent blog post !

I think that I am still in shock that he has had an entire year of life...and I have only lost 30 pounds... lol well nix the last part.

Kaius, you are the love of my life, and I will always be honoured and love being your mommy <3

Just think about it. If they really cared about pollution and everything, they would do so many things like :

1.Make busses free !!

2.Force fast food companies to comply with recycling rules and use Biodegradable wrappers etc. Not only that, but they would make it mandatory for every order that is "for here" to be served on dishes and not in wrappers and boxes.

3. Make cloth diapers cheaper and more available. Or at least carry things like Gdiapers along with the pampers and stuff. It is such a hassle for the average bean unless you have heaps of money to spend at the one off. I would love to use cloth diapers for Kaius, but the initial cost is so much, especially with the other costs of having a child and being on maternity leave.

4.Have better parks and plant more trees !!!

It seems everywhere we go nowadays,we are bombarded with being "green" and environmentally friendly.LOL, I think my neighbours used to probably think I was on crack for cleaning my windows with newpaper.I don't think anything will really change if things stay the way they are. Those that are environmentally conscious are usually labelled hippies or people who "have no life". But it is human nature I guess.Humans can be such selfish bastards.
♥ Kaius at nearly 7 months ♥

*Gomen Nasai *

I know so many of you have been bugging me for updates of Kaius and more pictures etc (yes cuz,I will get some pics of his teeth). I have many new blog entries,but I have been mostly saving them instead of posting them..ooops.. I have many of his new pictures up on my facebook. I am trying to figure out a good picture hosting site (because my facebook account is set on private and I don't really want to change that setting). And since there are so many pictures that I have I would like to put them on a slideshow or something. When I figure it out I will post it. Plus, I am still trying to unpack everything in the new place..Uggh..
Hope everyone is well. ~

My tummy is so upset :( I have been getting the weirdest cravings lately for pancakes. Since we are moving we have been cutting back on unnecessary groceries because we don't want to have too much crap to carry over. So I haven't bought things like flour and pankcake mix etc. I decided to just make some french toast to put the craving on simmer. Uggh, such a bad idea. I got about halfway into finding the ingredients when I realized it was such a bad idea.

Ok, first of all, I go through so much trouble making them (well they are pretty easy but I had to dig out most things from boxes.. and of course the box with the cinnamon was at the bottom of the pile).Then I had to get the utencils to make it, only realizing that I had turned on the dishwasher moments earlier when I was deciding what to eat.

So to basically sum up the experience... After all that hard work..I gave into my craving and while on my second piece of french toast..my stomach began to turn.. So now, I sit here...feeling like at any point, the french toast will come out to say HI...

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My show begins tonight !!! I am so excited ! Last season left me hanging ! One of my favourite characters is Lafayette and I really hope that he isn't dead ! If you haven't heard of True Blood people, I suggest you watch it. It is soo much better than Twilight,especially if you are an adult and not some 17 year old chasing after Edward Cullen. Ughh, my whole day is now going to be waiting in anticipation !!

Evernight by Claudia Gray

Description: "Bianca wants to escape.

She's been uprooted from her small hometown and enrolled at Evernight Academy, an eerie Gothic boarding school where the students are somehow too perfect: smart, sleek, and almost predatory. Bianca knows she doesn't fit in.

Then she meets Lucas. He's not the "Evernight type" either, and he likes it that way. Lucas ignores the rules, stands up to the snobs, and warns Bianca to be careful-even when it comes to caring about him.

"I couldn't stand it if they took it out on you," he tells Bianca, "and eventually they would."
But the connection between Bianca and Lucas can't be denied. Bianca will risk anything to be with Lucas, but dark secrets are fated to tear them apart . . . and to make Bianca question everything she's ever believed."

I've only just started reading this book, but I can already see some similarities between it and Twilight. The first one was the whole Science class thing (the only class they share together etc. with Twilight I think it was Biology,and with Evernight,I think it is Chemistry). I do like the characters. Lucas Ross is kind of similar to Edward Cullen,but not really. And even though it is early on, my guess is that Bianca will turn out being a vampire also.. Why you may ask.. It's pretty obvious. Especially in the early conversations she has with her parents and the way that she describes and talks about them in the narration. If she isn't a vampire,she will probably be turned into one at the Autumn Ball..

Impossible by Nancy Werlin

Description: "Lucy has nine months to break an ancient curse in order to save both herself and her unborn daughter.

Inspired by the ballad "Scarborough Fair," this riveting novel combines suspense, fantasy, and romance for an intensely page-turning and masterfully original tale.

Lucy is seventeen when she discovers that the women of her family have been cursed through the generations, forced to attempt three seemingly impossible tasks or to fall into madness upon their child's birth. But Lucy is the first girl who won't be alone as she tackles the list. She has her fiercely protective foster parents and her childhood friend Zach beside her. Do they have love and strength enough to overcome an age-old evil? "

I have been dying to read a "fairy story" and Impossible seems to be the popular answer. It is predictable,but still good.I'm pretty sure I know who the bad guy is and what is going on already..Still though..it is a good read, but no "fairy story" I have ever read yet has beaten my favourite "The Hunter's Moon" by O.R. Melling ~

Air Canada has done me proud with these commercials.They are commercials that you actually want to watch.I have not been so enamoured with a commercial since the musical Gap commercials from the past.Many people have been asking me to find out about the song. It is called "El Vuelo" and t is by Hughes de Courson.

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Ok, so now I have seen it four times now and I am still ... What the hell was that ??? There was no closure whatsoever ! Yes, I understand that the whole point of the show was to be a show that shows the lives of these people as they are and reality blah blah blah... It makes me feel like all that time I invested in watching the show was a waste...

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~ LOVE U ~

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I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this soundtrack. A.R. Rahman is ususally good, and I am glad he won :) Enjoy :)

Buy the CD HERE.

And to my brother Christopher,now you can actually learn all of the lines to "Jai Ho" instead of just randomly blurting out a "Jai Ho !" here and there lol...


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This show is possibly the best and coolest kids show on ! I even like it ! The music is very catchy (but not in an annoying way) and I even find myself humming along or tapping my foot. They have some really great guests too. Today, they had Ladytron as a musical guest ! And Kaius seems to enjoy it just as much.I was in the kitchen one day last week,and I took him in there to keep an eye on him while I did dishes.I had left the tv on and you could clearly hear it in the kitchen. As soon as Yo Gabba Gabba came on he started going bananas and then he started to fuss.I picked him up,chair and all and put him infront of the tv and he did this little smile and mommy didn't exist anymore.It was all just Yo Gabba Gabba.I think what attracts him are all the bright colours and music.


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I don't know what it is with this show,but he likes it. I think its cute.Jay thinks its disturbing lol. Especially after a couple episodes of gender bending.Lol, I think he decided against it when they dressed up as a princess and a fairy and were saying how "beautiful" they looked.LOL. I like it and Kaius likes it when I sing the theme song to him.
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I can't believe its over ! In the words of a petualant 2 year old,"I want more !!!!!!". I didn't actually hate the finale.I might come to like it.I wish that there was more ! I think its just bittersweet for me. Now I need to find something else to occupy my Friday nights... Ugghhh... does that mean that I actually have to go out and get a fracking life now ??? *tear* I'm gonna miss that word....


Bummer. I miss it already... Did anyone tear up ? I almost did when Sam (Michael Trucco) was sailing all the ships towards the sun..I always did like Sam.. I will admit,I was a bit peeved at how things were forming and how some things went. I miss D'Anna (Lucy Lawless ...gotta get my Xena fix from somewhere ! lol) and especially Dee (Kandyse McClure). I hated what happened with her character.I think what I did love though,was how they kept a lot of the supporting cast and the little cameos etc. One of my favourite characters has always been Dr Cottle (Donnelly Rhodes). I am glad he was included with a few more scenes than normal.And even Hoshi ! (Brad Dryborough).

I can't believe that it is over !!!!!

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~ Miss you, love you ~